Sunkissed Skin and a Dimpled Smile
by NanaMun
Summary: It was like riding a rollercoaster. The anticipation before I knew I would see him. The excitement would build up, my nerves climbing, then he'd be in my view or step into a room and my stomach would drop.
1. Seth POV

**Author's Notes: **Finally! Here it is, guys! The runner up for the Live-journal votes. Though I know many readers want to attack me since this isn't the story they were expecting, but with this done, I can post the 1st place voted story.

This was intended to be a one-shot, but I got carried away (this is a habit, I'm noticing) and have split it into two parts. The first part being in Seth's POV and the second in Jasper's.

**_Disclaimer: Major fluff. Seth brattiness. Jasper charm.** Characters are not my own.**_**

**Sun-kissed Skin and a Dimpled Smile**

It was like riding a rollercoaster. The anticipation before I knew I would see him. The excitement would build up, my nerves climbing, then he'd be in my view or step into a room and my stomach would _drop._ The world would become a blur and the hours we'd spend together would twist and curve, rise and plummet and my breath would be taken away.

And before I knew it, it was over.

And I wanted to experience the feeling again.

I was addicted to it and I just couldn't help myself. It was wrong, I knew. It was inappropriate and a waste of time. I shouldn't have been in love with him. I should have spared myself the heartbreak. But I couldn't help how I felt.

**\/**

_Seth POV_

"You've been hiding here for the last 5 minutes." My heart nearly jumped out of my throat when I heard his rumbling voice.

They were the first words he had ever said to me.

"I-I-I," I couldn't speak. I really _couldn't _speak. My tongue was heavy like lead, my mouth dry like cement. What was I going to say to this wavy haired, dimpled _rockstar_? He had been standing in front of the U.S. History section, thumbing through the new Civil War pictured book with intense interest.

And I had been watching him like some sort of stalker.

But he was beautiful, a beautiful that was hard to describe. It wasn't just the silky, golden hair and the baby blue peepers. The beauty was in the way he forgotten where he was as he beheld the pictures, his thumb tracing pages in awe. It was the way his brows furrowed and how his teeth dug into his bottom lip before he suckled on it in concentration. As much as the outside was great to look at, it was his inside that I saw.

Call me crazy, but I thought I may have-

"Hey," He whispered gently, "it's okay. I'm not mad or anything. I know I've been standing there for about a half hour. Probably bringin' a lot of attention to myself." There was a hint of an accent on his tongue, but I was too brain dead to figure out what exactly it was.

"_Hablas ingles?"_ he asked and that snapped me out of my haze.

I felt a frown forming as something of a growl came from my chest, "I speak _perfect_ English, thank you. I'm _not _Mexican." Something about the people of Arizona confusing Natives with Mexicans always had me reeling. It would have been nice if some of them opened a book once in their lives.

I would have expected different from _him..._

And then he smiled, his dimples appearing on his face. I thought I had melted, "I knew that would get you speakin'." He chuckled.

"Wait," I stammered, "what?"

"Not too bright, are ya?" He teased. I felt annoyance flair up in my chest.

Whatever. He wasn't _that_ beautiful.

As I made to turn, I felt his hand on my shoulder, "Wait, I'm sorry." He still had the grin on his face, "I like to push buttons, but I don't mean no harm."

I sniffed, crossing my arms, "Yeah, no problem."

He wasn't convinced, "Don't be that way."

"What way?" I shrugged, "I'm not being _any_ way."

This must have been amusing to him because he chuckled again. I couldn't help but get lost in those damn blue eyes. And they twinkled! "You _must_ be in high school." He said it like it was some sort of drag to not be old.

"Is that a problem?" It would have been a bit of an understatement to say I was a little insulted.

Holding a palm up to let me know he meant nothing by it, he spoke, "No. Not at all," As if we had been speaking for an hour, he asked where I went.

I cocked my head in the general direction of where the school was down the street, "Marcos." I muttered.

"Home of the Padres, huh?" He nodded, "My senior year I went to Corona-" I scowled at the name, "Yeah, I didn't like it there either."

"Where did you go before Corona?" I asked.

"Some nowhere school back in Texas." He shrugged. So it was Texas he was from.

A _cowboy_.

"If you're thinking I'm some sort of cowboy, cut that shit out." He growled with narrowed eyes, "If I'm a cowboy, you're an old, Republican man."

Was that the first thing people thought about when they heard 'Arizona'? "Gross."

"So, have I been acting suspicious?" His eyes were searching mine intently. I had to bite my tongue to keep from moaning. God, I could see right into that Texas soul of his, "Or were you just stalking me?" That surely had me spiraling back to reality.

"I-I-I," Here we go again.

He laughed, "I was kidding."

Gesturing towards the book, I responded with, "I was wondering why you were reading that." Not exactly the truth, but it was close enough.

The twinkle in his eyes dimmed a bit as if he was reminded of something bleak, "Oh." He said and lifted it between us, "I'm starting my Civil War course. The professor recommended some optional books. I figured I'd come here first before Barnes & Noble. I'm all for indie bookstores." Of course. That must have meant he was in college.

"You go to ASU?"

"Guilty as charged." He smiled, "Figured I'd stay in state for a year or two. Tired of moving around and to be honest, Arizona's weather differs very little from home." He looked so comfortable, standing there before me speaking as if we had known each other longer than five minutes.

Over time, I began to learn that was just how Jasper was.

_Jasper._

When he told me that was his name, I couldn't think of anything more suited. It was rare and yet so organic and natural, just like him. I think I _swooned._

When we got pass the names and school information, we moved on to heavier topics like friends and family and soon passions we were into. The hours flew by before I realized that I literally had been standing and speaking to a stranger for 4 damn hours. My shift was almost over and I had spent most of it enjoying myself. In comparison, any other work day before this one was a waste.

Jasper didn't let me go so easily. When he learned I had no ride of my own, he offered me one home. And, Lord, he asked me for my number when he had pulled his car in front of my house.

"You're a cool kid," He spoke with a dimpled grin, "Far more cool than the clones at ASU."

"I'm not a kid." I snapped, though that only made him laugh. I think I was having heart palpitations. In fact, I was sure there was going to be some cardiac conditions I'd develop if I kept in his company any longer. We traded numbers and good lordy, I was _very_ close to leaning over the stick shift and pressing my lips against his pink ones. This felt more like a date than anything else. We had _chemistry_, even if he thought it was me being a _cool kid_. There was definitely something there. Perhaps for him, it was a potential good friend, but for me, I could easily see a lover.

But of course, I was always known for my romantic heart.

**\/**

Over the next two semesters, Jasper and I only got closer. In his fourth semester in college, he had become more comfortable with his courses, which only meant that we could actually hang out. Our usual routine was him over at Changing Hands at 5 –when my shift started- studying or working on his own papers until afterwards, where we either went out for dinner or called it a night as he dropped me off at home.

My mom was instantly smitten with Jasper the day she met him. All it took was that twinkle in his eyes and the smile on his face for her to be sold. And that's saying a lot. Ever since dad passing away when I was 13, mom had become quite territorial and worried about the company I kept. It was rather annoying bringing over a friend or a study partner and her giving them the look over as if expecting a sign of their bad influence. Any suspicion she may have had of Jasper was eradicated. I supposed his charms worked on everyone. He soon became another part of our household, staying for dinner and on occasion, joining my mother and me on errands. He was told to keep a _watchful_ eye on me when her job demanded more of her time. He was even encouraged to spend as much time with us as possible when she learned of his family moving back to Texas right when he entered college. Mom was a bit theatrical when it came to family.

It wasn't a surprise when she invited him to accompany me to prom. I could say I was a bit too shy to ever ask anyone, seeing how I was gay and not interested in the limited options there were. I had told her and Jasper over dinner one night that I just wasn't going.

"It wouldn't matter anyway." I shrugged, avoiding my mom's glare, "They play bad music and I'm not really into dancing to YMCA in a tux."

Jasper watched me with a relaxed smile. Over time, I got used to the way his eyes sparkled when we were in each other's company or how he never seemed to let anything distract him from having his attention directly on me. With his arms crossed casually over his chest, he spoke up, "I heard they were having it at the Phoenix Science Center. Nothin' more fun than dancing and having a laser show afterwards."

"It's better than that ranch prom they had when your sister graduated." My mom scowled, "And wouldn't you want to hang out with your friends? Replying with '_What friends?_' would have been inappropriate. I had mostly AP courses at school, so any acquaintances I had were either too pretentious or spent entirely too much time studying. The few I did bring over never quite made it pass my mother's disconcerting eye. Other than Jasper, the only person to re-visit again –though it was once –was Edward, my Chemistry partner Junior year. He was nice enough, I guess. And cute.

I realized both were waiting for me to answer, "Um, I don't really have _that_ many friends mom. Jasper is the only one you'll let in the house anyway." At that, Jasper snorted.

"Well, what about that Tyler kid?" She started.

"You said I shouldn't associate with him. He used too much profanity."

"How about Jacob? He was a smart boy." She went on as if she had nothing to do with my lack of visitors.

"He had a motorcycle, which you didn't approve of. And you said he gave me…the _eyes_." I said, not masking my annoyance. I had met Jacob sophomore year. He was really cute, funny and tutored me in Biology. I also had a crippling crush on him. He was my first kiss, but that's as far as it got. We still had some classes together and talked, though he was much more occupied with sports and work these days.

With all the thinking, I almost missed the questioning raised eyebrow from Jasper. I didn't want to explain –I couldn't really –so I shrugged. Jasper was _super_ unaware of my orientation. 8 months of knowing him and we barely ever spoke of relationships, though I did know he had a girlfriend back in Texas. I tried to avoid talking about her, mainly because I wanted to claw her eyes out.

"Jacob, eh?" Jasper didn't sound all too approving of the motorcycle either. I sighed, only to accompany it with a pout. He always took my mother's side. One look to her and I knew she approved of his response as well, shooting me a smug smirk before winking.

"Then why don't you take Jasper, dear?"

"W-what?" I sputtered, looking between them. As usual, Jasper appeared unfazed. Did they secretly operate as a team when I wasn't around? "He'll keep a good eye on you."

"I don't need a babysitter. I'm almost an adult." My pout became more pronounced. There was probably some lip trembling action.

"It'll be fun, kiddo!" He teased, leaning over the table to ruffle my hair. His touch was always welcomed, even if I wanted to gnaw off his arm for using that endearment. I glared at him and his eyes widened, "Easy, squirt! I just want to meet your friends and dance. That doesn't sound like fun?"

"It sounds like fun to me." My mother gave me a pointed look. The _do as I say_ look.

"I have no choice in this, do I?"

My mom merely sipped her iced tea, "They start selling the tickets, soon, right? Get the couple tickets and we'll look for a nice tux this weekend." I looked over to Jasper, hoping that he'd side with me after her statement. _Couple_ tickets? He had to be against that, right? We were going to the prom as a couple! Being seen with him wasn't a problem since some students were aware of my orientation because of Jacob. It wouldn't be a shock, but I was concerned about Jasper. I didn't know where his comforts were. It was really hard to tell when he was looking so _cool_ just sitting there.

"You don't have to go." I tried to whisper surreptitiously, so my mom wouldn't spot me. I was actually surprised to see Jasper's cool falter a bit.

"You don't want me to go?" He asked.

I shook my head violently. I would have loved to be anywhere with him. Just staring at him made me happy, it didn't matter where we were, but even I knew there were limitations. Jasper and I were friends and I didn't want to push his comfort, "I know going to prom with you would be great, but if it's something you don't want to do…" I trailed off.

He shrugged, "Prom was never my thing. I didn't even go to mine, but if you're there, I'm sure we'll have a great time." He elbowed me with a devious cackle, "We can be dates!"

I shot my mom a look, only to see her lips twitch before she stood up, gathering our plates, "You two. Dishes. Now." She barked the usual order.

Jasper shot to his feet with enthusiasm, "Yes, ma 'am!"

I watched as they carried on like it was any normal dinner. This wouldn't be as bad as I thought it could be, right?

**\/**

April's decent weather melted away to the death hell heat of May. Both Jasper and I hadn't spoken about prom much due to the increasing stress of his finals and my last run-arounds with signing up for classes at ASU and paying for my graduation gown and the ever exhausting preparation for out of town family. I, of course, bought our tickets. I stared at them every night before going to bed, wondering how I could play off the building excitement in my gut. _A date!_ Oh lordy, Jasper said it was a date! Even though I was aware he was totally kidding, I couldn't help the smile that was plastered on my face the second he left that night. It felt like I had been smiling ever since.

It wasn't until the week before our _date_ that Jasper called bringing prom back up. He mentioned getting his tux, threatening that I'd better match. My heart did something weird in my chest.

"What, need me to wear a canary yellow to your royal, pimp purple?" I teased, "Let me guess, you bought a cane too?"

"Ha. Ha. Smartass." He retorted, "Actually my look is a bit classier. A simple black and red." He sounded proud of himself.

"Putting some effort into this, aren't ya?" I laughed.

"Of course I am." I felt my laugh stutter to a halt at the sincerity in his voice, "Kiddo, this is your prom. It should be special, right?"

"Right." My voice had dropped a few octaves, matching his soft tone. I had no idea he was doing this as a favor. I always thought it was more of an adventure, something fun to do. Jasper was all about having a good time, teasing and fooling around. It would have never crossed my mind that he was coming just so the night would be memorable.

"Plus, we need to look snazzy. Make all the suckers there jealous." He added with a crafty little chuckle, "So stay in the color zone, damnit."

Prom night came quicker than I was prepared for. I was all suited up in my black tuxedo, blood red dress shirt and black bowtie. I stood at the foot of my stairs, getting fussed over as my mom adjusted the invisible wrinkles and rubbed the nonexistent smudge on my cheek.

"My baby…" She cooed, getting an eye roll from me which of course she caught and swatted my head in disapproval. The doorbell rang and my heart jumped to my throat.

My mother literally _giggled_, before practically skipping to the door. I had only ever seen her like this when Leah came home sporting a big fat ring on Christmas saying she was engaged to her boyfriend Sam. Jasper had been over to witness the sheer horror of my mother and sister hopping around the living room like 10 year old girls at a slumber party, high on pixie stix.

I knew it was Jasper when my mother squealed, "Ma'am." I heard his gentle greeting before he was escorted to the back of the house where I was shaking in my dress shoes. He turned the corner and my breath caught. His tall, lean body was covered in a fitted, black tux. My eyes worked up pass the dark red vest and matching handkerchief to the clean shaven jaw and –oh my lordy –the long waves tucked back into a ponytail at the base of his skull. There wasn't a word between us. I was certain he was waiting for me to say something, but working my way up to his eyes I realized he was checking out my tux to see if I matched. I knew he approved when his dimples came through on his cheeks. With an uncharacteristically shy smile, he finally spoke.

"Someone is all grown up." His voice was husky as if he hadn't spoken for days. I rolled my eyes, making a show of crossing my arms over my chest before glaring at him, "Okay, maybe not." He teased gently, "Oh, before I forget." I hadn't noticed his hands tucked behind his back until they moved. My eyes widened at the sight of the little clear plastic box before they narrowed.

"What is _that_?" I growled. I knew exactly what it was. I just wanted him to say it.

"A corsage." He mumbled. I felt my jaw drop. Mom had to have put him up to this.

"I'm _not _a girl!" Jasper had the nerve to laugh.

"I know _that_!" He smirked making sure to let his eyes travel my body. I suddenly felt self-conscious, "It's for guys. We pin it on the tux. It won't go on your wrist, I promise." He held up the box for me to see, "And see, it's not that big. I have the same one in the car."

"Well, alright." I grumbled. It was actually pretty. A single, red rose. My arms suddenly felt heavy and my chest was humming. It was romantic, even for best friend standards, "Thank you." It was more than just for the flower. It was being there that day at that particular spot reading that Civil War book. It was for being charming enough to get my mother's approval. It was for making my last moments in high school memorable.

God, I was in love with Jasper Whitlock.

**\/**

He may have made romantic gestures, but in the end he was my best friend. And of course, Jasper will be Jasper. We drove to the prom in his dirt covered truck, though thankfully the insides were cleaner than usual.

"McKy D's?" He suggested for dinner. I laughed and gave him a nod, "Of course it's on me. You're my date." He said softly, throwing his arm around the back of the passenger seat. I knew I was blushing.

We ordered inside and ate our mcnuggets and milkshakes in front of curious patrons before we drove the 20 minute journey into Phoenix. Before turning on the freeway, Jasper turned on his playlist to get us into the mood of dancing. Good ol' 90s dance tunes.

"Ten bucks they play the Macarena within the first hour we're there." He challenged.

"You're on."

We arrived to a full parking lot and a dance already in swing. Jasper pinned his corsage on in a hurry before rushing us out of the car, making some noise about missing the fruit punch and finger foods. We were running a little late, only because my mother would not let us out of the house without filling the damn memory on her camera. I cringed. Every damn pose and angle imaginable was used.

We showed up at the ticket desk, smiling innocently, exposing our ticket stubs. Both women –one whom I recognized as the school librarian, and the other, the vice principal –gave Jasper a hard glare. It was within rules that our dates be from other schools, but they had to be minors. Jasper could easily be mistaken for someone of drinking age. He had the demeanor and smug look about him, so it was difficult to prove otherwise. He also arrived as my _partner._ Though my classmates tended to be less interested in my orientation, the teachers damn sure didn't like any type of intimacy between students, especially two guys. But as expected, Jasper used his charm, commenting on the librarian's tacky glasses –the kind that need to be secured on a damn string –and made some comment about how our prom location was way more creative than Corona's. That won them over in the end.

We were welcomed by some thumping pop music and the smell of food. A gaggle of girls ran by us giggling in their puffy, short dresses and hair-sprayed do's, holding their high heels in their hands. I followed the trail from where they came, "Guess they left the exhibits open for us to check out." I said to Jasper. He was like me, enjoyed a good education with some fun.

"Looking forward to it." He smirked, checking out the decorations. I was spotted by a few teachers before we had a chance to check out the science exhibits they had opened. I introduced Mr. Laudry and Mrs. Berg to Jasper. Both were teachers I interacted with more than a normal student would, but it was nearly a requirement when taking AP course. Like everyone else, they were smitten by Jasper, Mrs. Berg especially when Jasper began speaking to her about the Tet Offensive. Apparently, Jasper's interest in history expanded past the Reconstruction of the south.

We were finally able to slip away when Mrs. Berg's assistance was needed to track some students who had a suspicious paper bag. There weren't much people around the science exhibits, so we were able to get the area all to ourselves. There was something about examining the size of insect brains and testing gravity that was thrilling. We laughed, tripping over ourselves in glee as we ran from one gadget to the next, testing our knowledge with toys and joking around. We had lost track of time, but I didn't care. This was what I enjoyed, being this way with Jasper. He was comfortable, beautiful and perfect. I had done so well keeping my attraction to him hidden, but watching his eyes light up as he trailed his fingers along the electric globe, I knew my time was running out. I was 'kiddo' or 'squirt'. We worked great as this, but what happens when I went to college, when I had more freedom? What happens when he sees me for what I truly am or even worse figures out how I feel? Or what if I wasn't the 'cool kid' anymore? Would Jasper lose interest in me if we spend more time together? We never really talked about what would happen after I went to ASU. He never suggested we share a dorm or go to those frat parties to school seemed to have a lot of. No talks about playing pool between classes or having lunch together. What if this was it? What if after graduation he wouldn't want to be my friend anymore? What if prom was his way of saying goodbye?

I think I was having a panic attack.

"See? What did I say? Macarena!" Jasper clapped in triumph, oblivious to my racing mind, "You owe me ten bucks." He tossed over his shoulder, before doing a double take. I'm sure he noticed the way my hand gripped the edges of my tux.

"Seth!" His hands held my shoulders "Are you okay?"

"I think…I'm having…" I panted. I didn't have to finish. He knew.

There had only been one other time I had a panic attack in front of Jasper and that was after I explained why it was only mom and I at home. Reliving the most painful years of my life without dad had been awful. I hated the vulnerability and the stress of money and looking out for mom. I hated seeing her so broken for the first few years. Just the thought of it made the anxiety peak. Like a professional, Jasper instructed me to breathe, explaining that he was there, that my mom was okay and that everything would be fine. I had panic attacks before meeting him, but by far that was the quickest recovery I'd had. Having him there made everything better and now….

"Okay, Seth, breathe for me, okay?" He instructed, "Deep breaths." He gently pressed on my back, silently telling me to bend over. I did so, expanding my lungs and letting out the air slowly, "I'm right here, Seth." He cooed softly. It helped so much to hear it. I ignored the nagging fear that he'd leave me and listened as he continued to bring me down with gentle words. When the tightness in my chest was gone, I stood up straight, afraid to meet his eye. He must have thought something was wrong with me when we were having such a good time.

"I know prom seems like the end." He said, rubbing my back in small circles, "This is around the time I knew things were going to change for me. I was scared shitless, but you're more prepared than I was. You're smart and focused, Seth. Not much will change for you once this part of your life is over." I leaned in to his touch, taking in his words like medicine. He was right, college wouldn't be a big deal, but he had no idea how different life could be without him. He opened up my mind and personality, showed me that life existed outside the safe confines of school, work and home.

"I say, let's dance!" Jasper threw up his hands as if suddenly overtaken by the urge to jump about, "You're my date and I haven't even offered you my hand," He dramatically swayed with dismay, "How dare I forget my manners." He took my hand –and my breath –away as he walked with purpose to the source of the thumping dance music. I couldn't help the smile that graced my lips. How the hell did he make me forget everything?

We were fools, dancing like little kids to the electric slide, bumping into other people, snorting when we missed a step. After two more obnoxious instructive dance songs, a current pop beat came on. With a wipe to the brow, Jasper exclaimed that he was _parched_ and decided to grab us both a drink. I nodded and watched him trail off, his wheat curls disappearing behind a throng of people. I was so lost in following his departure I nearly jumped out my skin when I felt the tap on my shoulder. I turned in surprise, only to be greeted by green eyes and a shy smile.

"Hey Seth." The soft spoken voice was barely audible over the music.

"Edward!" I exclaimed with surprise. I never expected him to come to prom. He was so shy and quiet, much like how I was at school before I met Jasper. We got along so well, even though he had only stopped by my house twice for school. I think at the time both of us were too shy to invite each other over after our Chemistry class, "I haven't spoken to you since-"

"Chemistry class." He finished for me.

"I really wish we could have hung out more." I said honestly, "Where are you going to school?" He was pretty smart, in fact, our class's valedictorian. He was invested in clubs and academics, which contributed to the lack of seeing him around. I was sure he'd be going to somewhere Ivy League-ish.

"Arizona State." He answered with a wide smile.

I felt my eyes bug, "But you're a genius!" I exclaimed like a fool. Edward looked away briefly, his cheeks tinted pink. It was pretty adorable.

"No I'm not." He shrugged, "I didn't want to leave home and plus it's a free ride, so you know…" His voice trailed off, "Where are you going?"

"ASU for me too!" I exclaimed proudly.

"But you're a genius." He didn't say it with enthusiasm, rather a small smirk on his lips.

"You're funny." I deadpanned. At that he laughed. The song changed to something that had the whole dance floor screaming with cheers. Puffy dresses and fruit punch was about everywhere, but the electricity and excitement was potent. This was prom night, these were people I would mostly never see again and we were here to share one last thrill.

"Wanna dance?" I asked, not sure why I offered. There was a look of brief shock across Edward's face before he finally nodded. It didn't even cross my mind that he could be straight, but it didn't matter, because we were feeding off the energy of the night, getting lost in the moment. Bodies knocked into us, pressing us together. We both laughed, not minding the closeness. I watched Edward with surprise. He was a pretty good dancer for an introvert and quite hot too. After the song wound down to some popular ballad, we broke apart, completely conscious of our close proximity.

"You still have my number, right?" He asked nervously. His breath came out in pants against my cheek. I guess we didn't separate that much.

"I do." I replied.

"Don't want to waste another opportunity to hang, right?" I nodded in agreement, "We should get to know the campus together next year." I wasn't an expert on flirting, but this seemed to be exactly what he was doing.

I nodded again, "I wouldn't want to waste it." I didn't mean for it to sound all flirt-like, but it did. Edward gave me a brilliant smile before pulling away, disappearing into the crowd. When my mind cleared, I realized just how long Jasper was gone. Searching the crowd, I walked off the dance floor only to spot him at the tables, his shoulders slouched with two red cups in front of him.

"Jas?" I asked. I wanted so badly to pet his waves, stroke his cheek, but I knew that wouldn't be a good idea, "Hey, where'd you go?"

Lifting his head, he gave me a wan smile, "Just tired. You youngins' have all that energy." His smile was half-hearted. I knew he had to really be tired. I remembered him telling me his last final kicked his ass. Maybe he was stressed out about his results.

"Do you want to leave?"

"No." He shook his head, "You deserve to have a complete prom. You can dance with your _friend_." He finished bitterly. He _really _must have been tired.

"Me and Edward only had one dance. We can leave now if you want." It wasn't a big deal. I did all I needed to do. What really mattered was that he was here with me.

"Edward, huh?" He said darkly.

It must have been a bad test.

**\/**

I stood in front of the mirror, maroon cap on and matching gown donned. I didn't feel like a high school graduate. I didn't feel like an adult. I felt like a lost child. No calls from Jasper since Prom night. He couldn't have been busy, since his last exam was before Prom and it couldn't have been work since he chose to focus on just school this semester. What was he doing? Why wasn't he answering my calls? I felt lost and utterly alone. I wanted him by my side when my family showed up. I wanted him to charm my grandmother who was about as icy as the Arctic tundra. I wanted him to officially meet Leah. He never had the chance to speak to her one-on-one during Christmas because of the whole wedding excitement. I wanted him to be by my side. I wanted him to hold me and k-

Well, I shouldn't get carried away with myself. But I missed Jasper and it had only been 7 days. How was I going to survive college then? I had been right. Prom was our goodbye.

"Knock, knock." I heard the rapping on the door as she made her presence known, "Everyone is waiting for you downstairs."

"Okay." I wasn't ready, but the ceremony wasn't going to wait for me too.

"Hmm," She was scrutinizing me, I knew it. The click of the door closing told me she knew something was up, "Okay, you should be ecstatic. You're going to college _finally_ and you won't have to look at those schmucks again. You saw me the night of graduation. I was _smiling_. And how often do I do that for extensive periods of time?" She arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. This was one thing I hated about Leah. She was so damn perceptive and persistent. At least mom left me alone when she noticed something was wrong. Leah was like a spoiled child, she wouldn't shut up until she got what she wanted.

"I am excited." I answered flatly.

"Once more, with feeling." She wasn't convinced, "And where's Jasper with all this enthusiasm or lack thereof? Your mouth must get stuck open when he's around. You never stop grinning at him."

I let out a heavy sigh.

"Ah ha." She grinned, "I guess that answers two questions." She crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowing. If there was anyone that could give mom a run for her money, it was Leah. She was viciously aggressive and had on more than one occasion made boys eat dirt for picking on me in school. The most recent was her literally knocking a senior over with her book laden backpack after hearing him call me a fag. I was almost certain he had a concussion. She had also been extremely harsh with Jacob. The night she picked me up from his house, she knew something had happened because of the permanent blush on my cheeks. She literally forced him out of the house and threatened if he had gotten too handsy, she would personally castrate him.

Leah never expressed an opinion about Jasper though. She was uncharacteristically quiet about him. She brought him up in conversation, asking how he was or if we were doing anything that day, but overall, Leah hadn't said anything.

Well, until now.

"Did he hurt you?"

I whipped my head around, "What?" I exclaimed in shock.

"Did you find him kissing someone else or is he one of _those_ boys who can't stomach being intimate in public. The _pussy_." She hissed. Leah, with the assumptions.

"Leah, he is _not_ my boyfriend!" I argued, but she clearly didn't believe me.

"You don't have to lie, Seth. I know you're gay. I didn't forget about that cute one with the motorcycle. What happened to him anyway?" She snickered, causing me to growl in annoyance.

"Jasper is my best friend."

"You sure about that?" She said skeptically, "Well, from what mom told me-" And like that, her mouth snapped shut and she cleared her throat.

I felt my eyes narrow in suspicion, "_What_ did she tell you?"

Feigning innocence, Leah shrugged, "Nothing." She wiped her hands together as if ridding them of something dirty, "Well, come on. You know how grandma gets when she waits." She strutted to the door, wiggling her hand with the very impressive engagement ring, "You're going to admit that you're in love with him before you tell me what's got you so upset." She tossed over her shoulder before leaving the room.

Sometimes I was really glad my sister went to school out of state.

**\/**

There were so many people. Gold and maroon clashing together. I always hated our school colors. Poop and Pee. Great, now I had to go to the bathroom. My leg jumped impatiently as I sat in the uncomfortable metal chair. Graduation practice was exhausting with the heat. All that walking in straight lines and listening to the teachers instruct us to our destined rows. Now here we were, 2 hours later, a crowd of on-lookers with flashing cameras and proud smiles. There was only one smile I was looking for. The familiar soft, melodic voice filled the speakers. I turned my head momentarily to hear Edward's speech. It was simple, encouraging and moving, just what our class needed to hear. I watched his pink lips move, saw his eyes flicker to mine on more than one occasion. He had an energy about him that reminded me of Jasper. Though his was more reserved, I could tell there was more to Edward than he let on.

Finally after the speeches and the squirming in our seats, our names were called. I did the practiced walk on the stage, grabbed my diploma and shook the principal's hand, thankful that this was the last time I'd ever have to stand in this open football field in this gown. Once we were told we were graduates, I tossed my hat into the air along with my class and booked it to the track where my family was waiting. I got a thundering welcome. Mom was the first one to grip me into a hug, followed by Leah and my aunts and uncles. I was surrounded by words of praise and cheer, along with the many voices around us, yet I could easily hear his husky twang.

"Congrats, kiddo." My heart hammered in my ears. My family was temporarily forgotten as I turned on my heels to see him. There he stood as calm as ever, those dimples fixed on his cheeks.

"You came!" I wanted to be mad. He hadn't answered any of my calls or texts for 7 days. But hell, it didn't matter, because I was just glad to see him.

"Of course I came." His eyes were sparkling and attentive, just as I remembered.

"Oh, he is such a looker!" I heard the squeal before it registered there was someone standing beside him, "Jasper, you didn't tell me how cute he was!"

And there I noticed the hour glass figured girl, only about half a foot shorter than Jasper and I. Long black locks ran down the length of her shoulders and dark brown eyes blinked up at me, "Seth, this is Maria." I could hear his voice, but it wasn't registering in my mind what he could be saying, because right there in front of my face, I noticed. They were holding hands.

So this was why he wouldn't answer my calls.

"Hi." It was a weird croak, but she didn't seem to notice.

"So nice to finally meet you, Seth." She elbowed Jasper, "It's taken him forever to introduce us. He talks about you _a lot._"

I never even heard about her.

"Oh, so he shows." If there was anything to make this situation worse, it would be my _dear_ sister, "Nice to see you again, Jasper. I was beginning to believe you'd miss Seth's special day."

"I wouldn't ever." He said with conviction, his eyes never leaving mine. It was as if he was trying to convey something to me.

"Sorry about being late." Maria spoke up. Her head fell comfortably on Jasper's shoulder. I could feel my fists clench at my sides, "But it was _my_ fault Jasper was running late." There was a giggle that followed. My ears were ringing.

"That's nice, honey," My sister said with a lace of condescending in her tone, "Join us for dinner, Jasper?" I had completely forgotten I was here with my family, that my day wasn't over. We had reservations to some restaurant in Scottsdale. I really wasn't in the mood for forced smiles and laughter. Seeing Jasper with _her_, their hands weaved together was…_heartbreaking_. My insides were crumbling. I could barely hold my place before them. I knew we would never be anything, but all those thoughts of touching him, kissing those enticing dimples, telling him how important he was to me all seemed to melt away.

"We would _love _to come." Maria spoke up.

"Sorry, honey. The place is reserved for 9 only." She averted her attention to Jasper, "We kept a seat open in case Jasper _decided_ to come." I knew Leah. This was her subtle way of calling Jasper a dick. Though I knew he hurt me, I was certain he was unaware. It wasn't his fault.

"Don't worry about it, Jasper." I couldn't look him straight in the eye, "It's just dinner."

"Jasper!" I heard my mom exclaim behind me, "Where have you been?" The noise of the background seemed to swallow the conversation. I saw moving mouths, Jasper motioning to Maria who proudly waved at my family members. I saw smiles and balloons, blurs of maroon and gold. This was it. This was the beginning of adulthood. With a heartbreak.

**\/**

**AN: I'd like to know what you guys think. It's a nice change from some of my previous stuff this year and I'm _really_ curious. Jasper's POV should be posted in a few days. We can see his insight and just what the heck is going on with him and this Maria chick.**


	2. Jasper POV

**Author's Note: **I apologize for the two week wait. Jasper just kept going on and on and on...And it was work making sure it didn't take away from the story.  
>You'll find that he'a bit different than as Seth sees him. He doesn't find himself as charming or 'rockstar'-like. But that's the greatness of POVs, we're seeing it through the character's eyes. Hope that doesn't kill it for you guys! Also, the first half of this chapter revisits the day they met, prom night and even graduation. But this time, we'll see who this <em>Maria<em> is.

**Disclaimer: **_A dash of angst and a solitary wanking. Nothing too naughty._

**Important AN at the bottom of this chapter!**

**\/**

_Jasper POV_

I thought it was a bit ridiculous that a little squirt like Seth had been watching me that whole time. What was so interesting about me reading a book in the middle of the aisle? Maybe I looked suspicious, or I was standing there a little too long, or he was one of the very few people in this state that never seen a man in cowboy boots and wranglers. Either way, it didn't matter _why_ he was standing there. Something about the way he watched me with observant eyes was amusing. I found his lack of conversion endearing and I knew I had to say something, which resulted in a nearly one-sided conversation for a second, until he finally got a hold on his tongue.

And when he spoke, I couldn't contain the smile on my face. He was a brat indeed. I knew he had to still be in high school with a pout like that. And of course, that offended him. Time flew without my notice as Seth –as he was so appropriately named –shared some of his hobbies with unabashed shame. It was pretty refreshing to see his eyes lights up and his cheeks crinkle when he found something funny. And he had the most alluring golden skin, kissed by the sun. It was the magnet to my wandering eyes. I couldn't help but seek out the exposed skin from his collar up, to the flesh just below his shoulders, trailing all the way down to his fingertips. It was a shame our conversation ended so soon. His shift was over and it was time for him to go home.

He hesitantly spoke up to say his goodbye, "The bus usually gets here just after my shift ends, so…" Here was my opportunity.

"Do you need a ride home?" And like that, we had bought ourselves more time in each other's company.

It was a mystery to me. I had been living in Arizona going on 3 years now and there was no one I took to as well or as fast as Seth. Dropping him off at home, only to never see him again made me uneasy. No one had kept my attention, let alone my interest for more than 10 minutes and here this kid showed up, glowing skin and wide, excited eyes. I knew it was right to ask for his number, when his smile widened and he eagerly belted the numbers to me. I chuckled, imagining how better life would be with someone as sunshine bright as this kid around.

**\/**

My comfort had grown from the crevices of the campus where no one ventured to the warmth of the Clearwater house. Seth's mom, viscously protective as she was, took a liking to me perhaps for the sake of Seth. I hadn't known that there were few before me who threatened to step through the home threshold. Seth introduced me not days after our first conversations and with little knowledge of who exactly I was, luck had it that Mrs. Clearwater was going to be easy on me.

The next 8 months or so revolved around our routine. After classes, I would drive over to Seth's job and waited while he worked. It was a convenient place to study, so much of my work was done by the time Seth clocked out and we had the night to ourselves. It was never Seth that requested that I waited while he worked, or that I drive him home after. It was all my doing. I had become addicted to seeing him every day, speaking with him any chance I could get and I could see that he didn't mind. Capturing moments of that bright grin contrasting with his beautiful skin was what I found myself seeking out each day. I felt like a man spending his entire life without water before stumbling upon an oasis. It never occurred to me that this meant anything other than how much I needed him around. He was my opposite, my match. Where I felt over-ripe and mature, he was young and often bratty, I sought out adventure, and he chose a night in. And even so, we were able to compromise for the other. Seth had taken to going hiking and camping with me a few times and I clearly had no problems spending hours reading and studying in the bookstore whilst waiting for him. It didn't matter to me, I was just so happy to have found someone I could be comfortable with. So when Seth expressed what little interest he had with going to prom, I felt it my duty to make sure he did. I had told him school dances and prom wasn't my thing, but in truth, I never felt comfortable going. I didn't like the people at my school and it felt like too much of a waste of money and energy to make an effort only to hate the experience. I didn't want the same for him, so once again, I found myself going out of my way. But at this point it was more a pleasure than a discomfort. I just wanted him to have the memorable night I never got.

So with his mother's suggestion, I volunteered to be his date.

Hearing the words come out of my mouth was exhilarating. My pulse quickened and my body felt warm. I wasn't sure why, but there was a rush of _something_ I couldn't describe what was running through me. But it was instantly running cold when Seth proposed that I didn't have to go. I suddenly felt like I _needed_ to be with him. And when he finally caved in, the rush was back.

I thought about prom as the season changed and school became more intensive. I had few windows to talk about it with Seth. I was almost fearful that he would forget or worse, change his mind. So instead, I fretted over it on my own, stopping by those formal shops, looking for something, anything that would stick out. The thought of prom had been riddling my mind that I accidently let it slip when my lab partner asked what was keeping me quiet during group study. Maria was perhaps the only girl I could marginally tolerate after high school. Most that came before her didn't know how to interact with me, either because they were scared of me or infatuated. While Maria was obviously interested in me, she was still capable of holding a human conversation as well. She was also capable of reading me pretty well, though nowhere as easily as Seth was. With a poke of her elbow, she startled me from my thoughts.

"What's on your mind, Jas?" Her big, brown eyes implored as she leaned over in interest.

"Seth." It slipped out before I could consciously leash myself.

I watched as her round, red lips formed into an 'O', "Your friend? Is he okay?" Maria knew enough about Seth, seeing how she was _always_ eager to hang out and I nearly _always_ had plans with him. Of course, my time spent with Seth got a few invasive questions from Maria over the semester, though nothing I minded too much.

"Yeah, fine." I answered, hoping that she'd be satisfied with the answer. It was a futile wish.

"So?" She elbowed me again.

With an exasperated sigh, I threw down my pen all hope lost in our work and answered, "I offered to accompany him to prom." I didn't think Maria's lips could get more round or her eyes more wide. I stared at her suddenly feeling bashful.

"What's the problem then?" She finally asked.

"I…" I licked my lips, "I don't know what to do. I don't know if he even wants to go and I'm looking for a tux-" She held up her hand signaling for me to be quiet.

"Alright, calm down." She said with a smirk, "Now let's tackle one problem at a time. Did he get the tickets?" I nodded, "And you're without a tux." She stated and I nodded again, "Okay, then what you need to do is start there. If he's got the tickets and you arranged to go, then you're going. And if he protests, well then you'll do that thing you do and he'll give in." She shrugged.

That afternoon I found myself in front of a very crowded mall –one of Arizona's plentiful –with Maria at my side, enthusiastic and talking a mile a minute. She dragged me into a formal store and found the hostess, started speaking in her native tongue, not translating what she said before ushering me to a row of elegant leather lounges.

"My oldest sister came here for her wedding gowns. It's cheap and the owner knows my brother -in-law's mother. We can totally get a discount. She remembers me."

"They rent tuxes?" She nodded with a wide grin, "Now sit here and Rosa will be back in a minute."

Rosa did come back, with a load of tuxes, all I had to try on. It was tiring, but I was thankful to have someone as persistent as Maria to get some help on this.

"I'm happy you're finally spending time with me outside of school, even if it's while I'm doing you a favor."

I cringed at her blatant honesty. Maria was never mean or selfish even if she was a bit to handle. I knew that if Seth was never in my life, I would have spent more time with her, possibly been closer, but as it was, Seth was all the friend I needed.

"Maria, it's just-"

"Oh, Jasper." She chuckled, resting her elbow on my shoulder. We stared at my reflection in the three body length mirrors. I had to admit, the tuxedo I was wearing looked pretty fantastic and telling by Maria's smug look, she agreed, "Even if you're the hottest unavailable blonde on campus, I forgive you."

"Unavailable?" I asked with raised eyebrows, "And hottest- what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about getting you ready for the prom." She answered, before calling Rosa, fluidly conversing with her in Spanish.

"What does that even mean?" She was being more incoherent than usual.

She rolled her eyes, "its okay, Jasper." She said with a shake of her head, "I know he's your boyfriend."

"My _what_?"

**\/**

She was wrong. _Really wrong_. Seth wasn't my boy-

I cleared my throat, adjusting myself in my car seat. Casting a glance at my rearview mirror, I caught the tux hanging in the backseat. I felt a smile grow on my face at the thought of wearing it on our special night.

_Wait, special?_

I really had to think this over. Seth was my _friend_, my best friend, if I was being honest with myself. When did I ever find him attractive or referred to prom as _our_ _special night_? He's beautiful, that I was always aware of and I was more than cognizant that spending time with him was something I preferred doing more than anything else, but that didn't mean anything, right?

**\/**

I stared at the corsage with gritted teeth. I knew Seth was going to give me tongue about this, but I got it because it was Maria's last advice not because my heart jumped into my chest at the thought of him wearing it the entire night. I got out of the car, heart in my throat, palms sweating. I was happy the single, clipped rose was protected by a bubble of plastic. Thanks to Maria, I was able to drive to Seth's without pulling over and having a freak-out, though she did hold me back for a while when she noticed the disaster that was my truck.

"Do you ever see what you leave in here?" She had scolded, throwing old Gatorade bottles and burger wrappers in a bag. I laughed nervously, getting a scowl from her. She really had been a lot of help with preparing for the prom. She was the one that thrusted my phone in my hand and demanded I call Seth and arrange a 'look'.

"It'll make you more of a _couple_, don't you think?"

"If I made him match with me?"

"Yes." She nodded, before gently tapping my nose with her pointer finger, "Trust me, Jasper. Maria _sabe todo._"

So I called him.

He answered, sounding a bit surprised by my call.

"Hey, kiddo!" I greeted, only to hear his small growl. It felt good to speak to him after a few days of being busy, "Missed me?"

"Maybe." His voice was shy as usual. It was something I found endearing.

"You won't admit it now, but when you see me in my new tux, you'll be unable to deny it." I teased. I got a raised eyebrow from Maria and I found I had to hide the slight blush on my cheeks. I had always spoken to Seth like this, but only now did I realize that it may be mistaken for flirting. I cleared my throat, "I know you're lazy and haven't got your tux yet, so I expect yours to match mine when you do. No clashing colors, Seth. Or else."

"What, need me to wear a canary yellow to your royal, pimp purple?" he teased, "Let me guess, you bought a cane too?" God, I really did miss this. A grin easily glided over my face and instinctually my eyes darted to Maria's. She was wearing one of those smiles. The same one I had seen on Seth's mother the day his sister surprised us with her engagement announcement during Christmas break.

"Ha. Ha. Smartass." I retorted, "Actually my look is a bit classier. A simple black and red." It was a good look if I said so myself.

"Putting some effort into this, aren't ya?" He laughed joyously. I felt a flutter in my gut and relief in my chest. He didn't sound hesitant or unenthusiastic about going.

"Of course I am." I answered with conviction. Seth's laughter instantly was silenced. I knew I had to elaborate to avoid confusion, "Kiddo, this is your prom. It should be special, right?"

"Right." His voice was softer, but not the shy whisper of Seth, but of…well, I wasn't exactly sure, but it was something tender and warm. I found myself basking in the way that made me feel. How would it be if he spoken to me on the phone in that voice all the time? There was just something so _intimate_ about it. I had momentarily forgotten Maria was there or that I was on the phone, until I felt an elbow in my side. I cleared my throat, hoping Seth couldn't sense the change in my mood.

"Plus, we need to look snazzy. Make all the suckers there jealous." I threw in with a chuckle, hoping that covered my ass. I felt clever for having Seth fooled. He usually could read me so well "So stay in the color zone, damnit." I was sure he rolled his eyes. We said our goodbyes and I hung up, suddenly excited for the date. Maria had been sitting silently to my right, but there was a glimmer in her eyes.

"What?" I glared.

She shrugged, but I knew she was thinking it even after my repeated expressive and often explicit objection to her theory. Seth was _not_ my boyfriend and I was in _no_ way in love with him.

I had to repeat that to myself when I had stepped into his house, greeted by his mom with an enthusiastic welcome. He stood there, looking anxious and preoccupied checking out my suit, but _fuck_, he was just – could I say gorgeous? Could I call my best friend gorgeous? I smiled feeling the flutter of butterflies in my stomach. Well, at least he listened to my requests to match. Then I realized he had caught me staring. He studied me with curious eyes and waited for me to speak. _Shit!_ I needed to not act different. Nothing changed. He was still by best friend.

"Someone is all grown up." My voice came out a bit huskier than I intended. It was something I couldn't help. He rolled his eyes, and like a damn brat, crossed his arms and glared at me, "Okay, maybe not." I amended, "Oh, before I forget." I remembered the small flower I had fretted over only moments before getting out of the car. I revealed the plastic box for him to see and as I expected, he gave me the look of death.

"What is _that_?" He growled, though I'm sure he knew what it was.

"A corsage." I kind of felt guilty, but Maria was adamant. She said I'd thank her later. His mouth opened in surprise, before it shut and his eyes narrowed.

"I'm _not _a girl!" I laughed nervously at his outburst. Obviously I _knew_ that.

"I know _that_!" I couldn't keep back the smirk. How could I forget that he wasn't a girl? My eyes trailed over his body, taking in the cut of his suit, the sculpt of his body. It had only been over half a year and his physique had transformed. He didn't look like a _squirt_ anymore. He looked like a man. Like my Seth. "It's for guys. We pin it on our tux. It won't go on your wrist, I promise." I held up the box for him to get a better look, "And see, it's not that big. I have the same one in the car."

"Well, alright." He grumbled and he looked it over. And like that, his eyes softened and a small smile painted his lips. I wasn't sure, but it appeared as if he was _grateful_ "Thank you." And there it was –that soft tone he used only days before on the phone. It was different now, because I could see his eyes, the way they shone with some inner light source I couldn't grasp. I felt my breath catch in my throat, my insides literally _quivered_. I couldn't understand it, but I knew that Seth wasn't just a best friend anymore.

I think I was in love with him.

**\/**

I tried my best to be casual; talking as if it was a usual night out. I needed to slap myself with some reality. I decided to take us for our usual fast food run. We enjoyed our meal, conversation naturally flowing between us, with Seth none the wiser. I was thankful. After an artery clogging meal, we drove the rest of the way to the prom location. It was a huge building, colorful lights displaying the property as we climbed the stairs to the ticket table. The adults gave me a wary eye, but all it took was a little buttering to get them to forget that we could be a _male_ couple. I didn't know how Seth's peers or teachers felt about it and I wouldn't have been happy stepping foot on campus to knock some teeth in so close to his graduation.

Once inside, we had a good look around, talking to teachers before making our way to the exhibit. It was odd how special and yet so ordinary this night was. In the end, it was just me and him, laughing and making fools of ourselves. I had missed this so much in recent weeks and I was nearly fearful that perhaps things would change after, especially if these feelings grew. I couldn't do this to Seth. I wasn't sure how comfortable he'd feel with my _uncertain_ feelings. I sighed, momentarily forgetting myself when I noticed the familiar beat pulsing down the hall from the dance floor. I felt a grin totally break in. Seth totally owed me money.

"See? What did I say? Macarena!" I clapped in triumph, "You owe me ten bucks." I looked over my shoulder expecting to see the look of annoyance or maybe the usual bratty pout. Instead, my heart dropped at the sight of his face pale and the sharp pants leaving his chest. He looked agonized and pained. It brought me back to that conversation we had had about his father. I remembered holding him to me happy I could offer some comfort and savoring having him so close to me.

"Seth!" My hands gripped his shoulders hoping to keep him on his feet "Are you okay?" I searched for any other signs of distress. It looked like a panic attack for sure.

"I think…I'm having…" He panted. I knew.

"Everything will be fine." I chanted, knowing that I was convincing myself more than him. I told him to bend over and take deep breaths as I rubbed his back in support. As his breaths calmed, my panic heightened. I was suddenly scared for my life. I told him _I_ wasn't going anywhere, but what if he did? It never really occurred to me before, but we were so close to his graduation, to him being my equal. What if he realized I wasn't that special to him at all?

"Okay, Seth, breathe for me, okay?" I instructed, following my own suggestion "Deep breaths." I pressed my hand against his back, feeling the warmth of his body through the material. Such a simple gesture felt intimate, "I'm right here, Seth." I promised, though I knew it may not be the case for him. My mind flew to the night his mom brought up me taking him to the prom. Seth had never spoken much of the friends he had before me. But hearing about this _Jacob_ and how he had a liking for Seth made something in me boil.

"I know prom seems like the end." I said, rubbing his back in small circles, "This is around the time I knew things were going to change for me. I was scared shitless, but you're more prepared than I was. You're smart and focused, Seth. Not much will change for you once this part of your life is over." Seth was way more mature than I was when it came to school. I was never a slacker, but I enjoyed the fun of my underage teenaged years back in Texas. I had only grown more serious about school when I moved westward and even then I didn't have the dedication or intelligence that Seth had. And that's what scared me the most; that he'd shoot pass me without a glance back, that he'd move onto something better. I would no longer be the older friend that teased him, but some Texan guy he spied one day in the bookstore.

I had to get out of this mindset. It was no use to me and it did little to help Seth's mood, so I did the only thing I could do; I thought about the hours until his senior year was over and took advantage of what time I had.

"I say, let's dance!" I belted with a throw of my hands. "You're my date and I haven't even offered you my hand," I acted out, feeling the tinge of pain in my gut that this wasn't actually the truth, but I'd pretend for this moment, "How dare I forget my manners." I took his hand and suddenly the world was still. Seth's smile was back, though a distant fear still glimmered in the depths. I wanted to tell him everything would work out fine for him, but I knew he was too stubborn to hear more of my speech, so dancing would have to do.

**\/**

Time stood still as we danced. It wasn't romantic or intimate, but perfectly _us_. Seth was as cute as ever, dancing with no shame, so unlike the day I met him. He had changed, became more adventurous, more outspoken, but it seemed his core always remained the same. Even as we shared the dance floor, I could still see the bashful blush on his cheeks when he'd stumble into me or the bratty way he pouted when I would pull too far away, feigning interest to the many girls that chose to dance close to me. Whether he was genuinely jealous of them winning my attention or not, I wanted him to know that there was no chance in hell. The thought surprised me, but amongst the colliding bodies and hideous pop music, I really didn't care. This was our special night.

After a particularly fast number, I smacked my lips noting the lack of moisture on my tongue, "I'm parched!" I yelled over the music, getting a look from Seth.

"Parched?" He laughed.

"Yes, sir." I answered. He snickered and shook his head, "I'll go get us a drink. You alright here by your lonesome?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'll be fine, Jasper."

With a wink, I slinked away, heading for the buffet style tables located down the hall from the dance floor. Once at the beverage table, I noted the three massive labeled drink dispensers. I decided to go old school and pour us some fruit punch and like that I was on my way back to replenish Seth's body with some tasteful colored sugar water.

But my feet appeared to halt in midair.

There, amongst all the dancing bodies were Seth and some other kid talking, laughing and _fuck me_ –they were flirting. Or at least, that's what it looked like. That smile, how relaxed his body was, those were all signs of him being in my company. I had known Seth long enough to distinguish how at ease he was around others compared to how he was around _me_.

And watching him, I felt reality hit me like a massive brick wall.

My time was up.

I needed somewhere to sit and…_breath_. I thought I was going to be sick.

I went to a vacated area where only a handful of tired dancers sat and chose a vacant table a few rows down. From here, I could see them. Another song had started and the both of them were dancing, enjoying themselves. Completely in their own world. I watched and I felt _my_ world haze.

I didn't know what I was going to do.

I had lost track of time, until I heard him call my name, asking if I was alright. I felt angry, I felt bitter, and I felt hurt. But mostly, I felt regret.

It was the regret that I couldn't have told him just how important he was to me before tonight.

**\/**

The ride home was silent. Deathly silent. I fidgeted and drummed my fingers nervously against the steering wheel, pulling in deep breaths before letting them out. Seth watched me silently but didn't say anything, though I knew he could tell something was up. When we finally pulled up to his house, he unbuckled his seat, hesitating, as if to say something, only to shut his mouth and unlock the door.

"Goodnight Jasper." It was the best damn voice I've ever heard. So much so, I felt my eyes water.

"Night." He shut the door behind him and I watched as he walked all the way up to the front door. When I was sure he was safe inside, I took off.

By the time I got to the dorms, I felt exhausted and inconsolable. Should I have said something then? Would it have made a difference?

My mind raced to the sight of Seth and that _Edward_ dancing so close together. Was it really that they were flirting or was I just jealous that he was getting out of his shell with someone else? The Seth I met at the beginning of the school year wouldn't have danced or acted such a way with anyone else but me.

**\/**

I woke up panting, sweating and _hard_.

I did not…. I did not have a dream about my best friend. One that involved –

I groaned, pressing my open palm against the ache along my thigh. I remembered his lips, the whisper of my name. I could even recall the dig of his hip bone against mine. It was so vivid. Never had I even thought of kissing Seth even if I could admit now that I loved him more than a best friend. But this…this wasn't what I expected.

I threw my blanket over my thigh, casting a glance across the room to see if my roommate was in yet. It was still fairly early and being that finals ended officially two days ago and it was a Saturday, he wouldn't stumble in until dawn. Licking my lips, I moved my fingers over my stomach, following the trail of the pulse between my legs. When I successfully had my fist around my cock, I cursed. Why was I so hard? Thoughts of tanned brown skin and lustful brown eyes glowed like a cascading TV light in a dark room. It was if he was right there with me.

_Seth._

Without thinking, I pulled the band of my boxer briefs under my cock and sac, before gripping myself to relieve some pressure. I shut my eyes, letting remnants of the dream flicker like an ancient movie film behind my lids. I let my mind guide my hand without considering just what I was doing.

Getting off to thoughts of Seth.

**\/**

Seven days.

Seven torturous days.

The first starting with me waking up traumatized the next morning.

I didn't know how I was going to face Seth now. I paced my dorm room, aware I was supposed to be packing what little items I had to relocate to another dorm on campus for the summer. I would have the luxury of no roommate and an actual real kitchen and bedroom. It was supposed to be the perfect summer for the both of us; me having a dorm where he could stay at whenever he wanted, giving him the tour of the campus, staying up late eating pizza and playing a list of games we had no time to check out during school. It was going to be perfect. But I made no effort to pack my things right away. The excitement was gone. Seth was already moving on, even if I was going to see him for his graduation.

But talking to him before then I wasn't sure I could do. In fact, I avoided speaking to him altogether.

And it hurt every second.

Everyday he called and texted, and every time I looked at the phone and saw that name and the contact photo of him at the state fair - the stuffed toy I won for him tucked under his cheek, his smile wide and bright – I had to ignore it. That very innocent face had me half hard, that smile warmed me and if I was to hear his voice…

I didn't know what I'd do. So I avoided him.

But hell, I couldn't avoid Maria.

"_Buenos __días__!_" She called the next morning, rapping on the door as if she were the police. It wasn't even 8AM yet.

"Maria-" I had growled, hair rumbled and eyes barely cracking open when I opened the door.

She snickered, but pushed pass me, "So…what happened?" She turned, giving me a look over, "Obviously nothing nice. You look like _caca_."

"I _feel_ like caca." I grumbled. At that, she folded her arms over her chest.

"Did you and Seth fight or something?" She got comfortable on my bed, pulling herself up it until her back was against the wall.

I let a hand scratch my sleep hair as I tried to find the right words without saying too much, "We…had fun."

"Okay…" She waited, knowing there was more.

"But, I think this is it for him." I started, but corrected myself, "I mean, he's going to be focused on school and he has so much going for him and-"

"Oh." Maria allowed the word to draw out as she nodded. She was getting _something_ I was saying. I wasn't sure what it was though, "You saw him with someone else." How the hell did she do that?

"How did you-"

"Oh, Jasper," She tittered, before pressing a finger to her temple, "I _told_ you, didn't I? Maria_ sabe todo._"

I rolled my eyes. That didn't answer my question exactly.

"You are seriously sprung and it must scare the living hell out of you."

"He is my best friend." I didn't deny her observation. I was sprung. I could admit to that now. I did so much for Seth without a second thought and I was _always _happy to do so. I was even able to overcome the whole _him being a guy_ obstacle easily, though there wasn't much I could conjure up sexually from lack of gay sex knowledge. But none of that mattered. What mattered was that he was happy and as much as it hurt to realize that the boy I called 'kiddo' was now a full-fledged adult and ready to live his life, I wouldn't have wanted anything more for him, even if it was a life without me and with someone else.

"And you are seriously in love with him." Maria added seriously. When I made to open my mouth and argue, she cut me off, "Don't say you're not, Jasper. Because then that would mean that _we_ could date."

I opened my mouth and then shut it. She was playing dirty, "Okay, fine. You win." I grumbled, combing both hands through my hair.

"I know." She shrugged, hopping off the bed, "Now call him."

"Maria-"

"Whatever has you upset like that-" She started, but I still had some denial in me.

"You woke me up!"

"-should be worked out by speaking to him about it, don't you think?" She wasn't even going to listen to me.

"No, I don't. I told you-"

She waved a hand, "Yeah, yeah. He's moving on and blah, blah, blah." She yawned, "Seriously Jasper, I've never seen you this pathetic before."

"You barely even know me." It was sort of true. Maria and I had spent some time together since her helping with me getting a tux, but it wasn't enough time for her to truly know Seth and I as well as she may have thought.

"And whose fault is that?" I sighed. Great, now she was using guilt.

"I'm sorry-"

"And what exactly does me barely knowing you have anything to do with you feeling sorry for yourself?" she sucked her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked like a spoiled princess, sitting there with her eyebrows furrowed and a pout on her lips. It reminded me so much of Seth. Her complexion had hints of golden brown. Her hair was a shiny black, cascading over her shoulders. It never struck me how similar they were. A bit of sass and brattiness.

But she didn't have that relaxed, glowing smile and the bashful personality. She wasn't Seth.

She must have seen something on my face because she was instantly sitting up, eyes softening before she spoke again, "Alright. You don't have to call him today. But you'll need to do something, Jasper. Saying you're doing him a favor by not speaking to him at all ever isn't fair. Let him at least make a choice of whether he wants whatever this is you two have or not."

I stood there, unsure what to say. For someone who had so little information about me and Seth's relationship, she sure did seem to hit quite a few nails on the head.

_Maria sabe todo._

**\/**

I had barely been surviving by the 7th day, but despite the pain in my gut, I couldn't call him. Or answer his calls. The fear in me had weaved in with the guilt.

I was thinking about him every night, and it was _nothing_ innocent. Every single night since prom, I had been getting off to just what life could be like if I called Seth and told him, only to be faced with his same admission.

But such a thing was unrealistic, a fantasy world I found myself creating in the lonely hours of the night.

Maria had been gentler since the confrontation, though she refused to leave me alone. In fact, the only time I wasn't with Maria was when I was sleeping. On the fourth night after Prom, Maria had come waltzing back to my new summer dorm room after disappearing –miraculously –for about an hour. She had a set of DVDs in her hand and a smirk on her lips as she sat on the sofa.

I fingered through the DVDs feeling dread build in me with each title.

"_Edge of Seventeen, Get Real,_" My hand halted over the last movie, "_Brokeback Mountain?"_ I looked up with a glare.

She shrugged, "What?"

"These are gay movies, aren't they?" The DVD covers definitely suggested so and the last in the list only confirmed it.

Maria clucked her tongue, "No idea what you're talking about." She answered with no efforts at sounding convincing.

Without another word she put the first movie into my humbly sized 26' flatscreen DVD player hybrid and let the movie start. There really was no fighting her about this, so all I could muster up was a scowl and a few mumbles as I watched the first movie.

When it was over, Maria gave me a look, "So what did you think?" The movie was okay. Some scenes made me uncomfortable only because I hadn't seen men kissing or touching each other so openly in public. It was Arizona afterall. But other than that, I didn't have much of an opinion on the first movie.

But while watching the second, I just couldn't help thinking about what it'd be like if it were me kissing a guy, preferably Seth. _Just_ Seth, actually. I couldn't picture kissing any of the male actors in the movies, even in _Brokeback_ _Mountain_ and according to Maria, both leads were hot.

When Maria asked me what I thought after the last movie, I really didn't know what to say. The movies had me thinking about…_him_ and what we'd be like together and the _costs_ of it even if that were possible. And that was if he actually had an attraction to me. But he wasn't, so did it really matter that I was sitting in my dorm room watching gay movies?

"Why are you showing me this?" I found myself asking. 5 hours of watching movies and finally I speak up.

"To show you _some_ semblance of what it could be like." Maria answered honestly, "To show you that it's not impossible."

"But Seth-" I licked my lips nervously as I fumbled over the next words, "Seth doesn't see me that way."

"What makes you so sure?" Before I could answer, she shook her head, a thought appearing to settle in, "that _person_ you saw him with. Was it a guy?"

Ugh, _Edward_, "Yeah." I growled.

A small smile crossed her lips.

"What?"

**\/**

His graduation day.

This was it.

But I couldn't move. I sat there fully dressed, prepared 2 hours before the damn service started. But I just. couldn't. move.

"Well, there you are." Maria had finally arrived, dressed in a flattering top, straight jeans and heels. With looks like that, I was really surprised she wasn't dating anyone. She sat down comfortably next to me heaving a sad sigh, "Okay, so are you going?"

I really had no clue. Would he even be happy to see me after I avoided his calls? It wasn't like I could explain exactly why I had been, "I don't know." I shrugged.

She appeared to be thinking for a moment, pressing her index finger to her lip as her eyebrows pulled together, "We have time until the graduation. So how about we make a detour?"

A detour where? And wait a minute… "What do you mean '_we_ still have time'?" She just blinked at me innocently.

"Come on." She patted my thigh before she was up again. I begrudgingly trailed after her. If there was anything Maria was good at, it was distracting me from my thoughts.

Taking my truck, she guided me through the suburban town of Tempe, turning off of the main road we drove into the small, adjacent town of Guadalupe. Now I was really interested, "You sure I won't get jumped here, Maria." I scanned the narrow streets. There seemed to be little people walking about.

"Don't worry, Jasper." Maria giggled, "My family****moved out of Guadalupe a generation ago. We are actually going to see my tió who lives…in Ahwatukee."

"Maria, Ahwatukee?" I all but growled, "How the hell are we going to make it back to Tempe in time?"

She gave me a look of mock surprise, "Oh, so you _do_ plan on going?" As if she had won some secret victory, she nodded in satisfaction, a massive grin on her face, "Good."

"So why are we going to his house?"

She dug in her bag only to pull out the same DVDs she forced me to watch days before, "To return these."

Now why the hell would her uncle have _those_ movies?

**\/**

"Oh! There's my love!" I heard the voice before I got a good look at whom it belonged to, "_Ay dios mio_, who is _this_?" And then, I saw him - a tall, absurdly attractive man dressed fashionably and nearly jumping in his doorway. His hair and eyes were as dark as Maria's, though his complexion was less like Maria's caramel complexion and more milky. He didn't look to be as old as I expected, at most 30. Gliding down the stone path from his front door, he greeted us in the driveway and gave Maria a tight hug.

"This is Jasper," She gestured towards me with a sly grin. Her uncle's mouth shaped into an 'O' as he gave me the look down, "And Jasper, this is my tió Eleazar." She introduced. I had a feeling Maria was being slick again.

"Oh, the pleasure, honey, is all mine." Eleazar tittered, giving me his hand. I shook it, still a bit confused about the whole reason why I was here.

But, if we were going to be cordial…

"I believe that is something _I_ should be saying, Eleazar." I made sure to give him my most suitable smile, that which I usually saved for older women, "Eleazar, that's a nice name."

"Oh," He giggled, "It's a name passed down from my father's side in España."

Maria and Eleazar both exchanged glances and stared at me for a while longer than what was comfortable before her uncle spoke first, "Well you two are just in time. My love inside is cooking a most fabulous dinner. You're welcome to stay and dine with us." He winked my way before trotting towards the house. Maria ran ahead and I followed them inside, feeling my eyes widen at the décor. His houe looked like a model out of some interior design magazine. Abtract art on walls, expensive looking furniture and pristine upkeep.

Maria and her uncle talked animatedly ahead of me as I kept back, taking in the magnificence of the place. We were escorted to the kitchen where a man with shoulder length brown hair and bright hazel eyes was chopping away at bell peppers.

"Santi, _mi amor_." Eleazar sang out, getting the man's attention, "We have guests."

"Oh, I didn't hear them come in." The guy had an accent, unlike Maria and Eleazar who were as fluent as I in English, "Oh, Maria. We saw you last week, _verdad_?" He embraced her as just as Eleazar had before giving the crown of her head an affectionate peck.

"Honey, _this_ is Jasper." Eleazar said conspiringly. The man's eyebrow's shot up before a smirk pulled on his lips. He wasn't too bad looking if I could be honest. He was taller than Eleazar and appeared to be in great shape. I could make out the defined muscles under his black v-neck and he did have decent arms…

I realized I was checking him out.

"I'm Santiago, Jasper." His handshake was stronger than Eleazor's, a tighter, secure grip. There was a lot about him different than the giggling man behind me. He didn't seem _gay_ at all.

Maria spoke up after Santiago and I exchanged greetings, "Sorry, we can't stay for dinner, but we have to make it to Seth's graduation."

"Oh, Seth." Eleazar and Santiago said in unison as if they had been _informed_ about him.

I glowered at Maria who gave me an apologetic look, before speaking again, "I also came to give you back the movies I borrowed at such short notice. Thanks, guys."

"No problem." Santiago replied, continuing where he left off in the kitchen, "How did you like it?" He was looking at me when he asked. I had no idea why. I turned to Maria for help, but she was just as curious about my answer.

"I really liked _Get Real_." I answered honestly.

"Oh, that's one of my favorites." Eleazar sighed, "English boys shagging."

"I think there was more to the movie than that, Ellie, honey." Santiago teased.

Eleazar's bottom lip jutted out, "Nothing as important as the shagging."

"Not even the plot?" Santiago didn't appear serious. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he waited for a reaction.

Eleazar merely smirked, "Tell me, dear, is plot more important when we're _alone_?"

"Why no, it is not." Santiago chuckled before sliding diced bell peppers off the chopping board and into a bowl.

"Don't mind them." Maria rolled her eyes, "They're like high school boys in love. Always flirting." I watched in awe as they continued to carry on, unaware that Maria and I were being entertained. I couldn't help observing the way they'd nudge each other teasingly or press themselves against the other more intimately than I was used to.

It was as if…as if I was staring at Seth and I. Wasn't this exactly how we were at dinner with his _mom_? Oh, God. I was flirting that entire time and I hadn't even noticed. But…was he flirting with me too?

I wasn't surprised to see another look of victory on Maria's face, "Well, tiós, we have to go." Maria said slowly, interrupting them.

"Oh, honey, so soon?" Eleazar pouted.

"Sorry," Maria hugged her uncle, pecking his cheek, "Thanks for the movies," She handed him the plastic cases she had dug out from her bag. Eleazar pouted, but didn't protest _too_ much. He made sure to encourage us –me specifically –to visit again. Both men gave me a friendly hug, surprising me with their hospitality they walked us to the door, waving when I pulled out of the drive-way.

I was flabbergasted.

By the time we left the neighborhood, I nearly burst at the opportunity to finally ask her, "What the _hell_ was that about, Maria?"

She shrugged her petite shoulders, giving me a sly smile before pinching my cheek, "Did you like them?"

"Can't say I didn't. They seemed alright. Your uncle was…." I trailed off, not sure how to put it.

Maria rolled her eyes, "A big ol' queen. Yeah, I don't think it's possible for him to tone it down if he wanted to. It used to drive my mother mad." Maria snorted.

I couldn't help being curious about Eleazar's….partner. He wasn't what I learned gay men were like growing up. I had no images of them, because I never wasted my energy on how I felt about them morally, but now that I had seen it –via media and in person –I was suddenly wondering, is that me? "So, Santiago would be your uncle too?"

Maria knew I was baiting for information and she gladly snagged the hook.

The entire drive to Marcos De Niza high school was of Maria telling me about meeting her tió Santiago when she was 13. She hadn't seen Eleazar since she was ten and became dreadfully bratty when her mother refused to take her to see him after returning from Spain. She hadn't known then that her uncle was gay rather that he was 'very fun', and so she had been clueless as to why her mother was adamant that her and her sisters not see him.

But Maria got her way.

And thus was how she grown close to her uncles. She explained that Eleazar had left Arizona to visit family in Spain, being that he had a difficult time after coming out to his family. There, he met Santiago and they became close friends.

We were just down the road from the school when I asked, "So they were friends first?"

Maria nodded, a tender smile on her face, "Eleazar was completely in love, but he wouldn't tell Santi because he was scared. He was so sure he was straight."

"Well, what happened, then?" I pressed, surprising myself with my sudden interest.

"Well, this was before my uncle became so comfortable in his skin, so he didn't make a move." Maria tossed her hair over her shoulder dramatically, "So Santiago did."

"And?"

"And, well, you know, sparks flew and Santiago ran away with my uncle back to America where they moved around a bit before settling here back home in Arizona of all places." She scoffed.

I quietly steered us into the packed parking lot of the school. My nerves were jumping and my mind was on overdrive. Maria's uncles had their happy ending, I suppose. They were pretty lucky, but it still didn't answer why she would take me there to see them personally and that they appeared to know some things about me.

I braked suddenly, before turning to her.

She was staring at with a knowing look, "Seth and I are _not_ like your uncles." I chastised.

Maria rolled her eyes, "Well, no." She admitted, "But your situations are similar."

"No, it isn't!" I argued, "Seth isn't gay and I'm not either!" She raised an eyebrow in challenge, "I'm not!"

"Seriously?"

Maria wasn't convinced.

At all.

"A stud like you only had _one_ girlfriend?"

I didn't even want to think of Charlotte. A girl I dated the beginning of Junior year. I left before we could get farther than a kiss and I was thankful for it. She was attractive enough, but did little for me, "So?"

"And you just gave up after that? Never dated around?"

"No!" I defended, "Should I just sign off and be gay because I never dated another girl?"

"No," Maria bit her lip, "But you should wonder why you're _so_ for Seth. I mean, no girl has made you feel this way, right?"

"No." I answered honestly.

"Then, what's the problem. If you're gay, you're gay."

"It's not that black and white." I disagreed. A long honk drew us out of our conversation momentarily. I was able to find a spot towards the path leading to the football field where they were holding the ceremony. It was too fucking hot for this.

My truck sputtered as I switched gears and shut off the engine, pulling the emergency brake. I tried to hide that my hands were shaking, but Maria's eyes were ever observing. Her small hand held mine, stilling the trembles momentarily.

"Jasper, forget this gay thing. That's not what's important." She spoke gently, "This is your best friend. You can't hide from him forever. It's up to you whether or not you tell him, but don't let your feelings interfere with your friendship if he doesn't feel the same way, which I highly doubt he doesn't."

I inhaled deeply, "How did you know?"

It took a second for her to understand what I was asking, "When you talk about him, you get this look about you. It's the same look my dad gets when praising my mother. And…" She bit her lip shyly, "It's the same look Santiago gets when he's watching my tió make an ass of himself." A strand of black hair fell from behind her ear, hiding her eyes. She suddenly looked timid and innocent, "I grew up knowing that that was '_el amor en los ojos._'It was something my mom used to tell me when I was a kid."

"So you could tell by my eyes?" I asked, suddenly feeling like an open book. I wondered how many people seen me and Seth together and how many could know.

"I've had a lot of examples in my life." She shrugged, before hoping out my truck. I followed, mechanically unbuckling my seatbelt and pulling the keys out of the engine. By the time I was standing, facing the campus, my nerves were back. I wasn't sure I could do this. Taking deep breaths, I tried to get my cool. Calm settled when I felt the warm hand fall into mine. I was met with brown eyes –not those I longed to see –staring up at me in support.

"Come on, Seth is waiting for you."

**\/**

We watched by the track as they called his name and he walked up the platform, shaking hands with the principal before seating down.

I cheered until my voice was hoarse.

Then there was the cap toss and the families stormed onto the field. Maria hadn't let go of my hand and I was thankful. I needed to see him, but I wasn't sure I could do it alone, not after the week I had, the conclusions I came to since prom night.

I thinkI was in love with Seth.

We walked pass crowds of cheering families. Balloons, maroon and gold bombarded my sight. But all I was looking for was sun-kissed skin, black shiny hair, a brilliant smile and soft brown eyes. And there he was, amiss a crowd of family members.

I took it back.

I _am_ in love with Seth.

I gripped Maria's hand and she clenched it back, letting me know she was there. And we stepped forward.

I drew from Maria's support and spoke loud enough for him to hear, "Congrats, kiddo." Seth turned so quickly, I thought he was going to get whiplash. There was a smile instantly on his face when his eyes fell on me.

"You came!" He exclaimed.

Nothing in the world could have stopped me, even myself. I knew in the end, I would have run over here last minute. I needed to see him, even if it would have killed me. "Of course I came."

Maria squealed next to me, with an overly girlish voice, "Oh, he is such a looker!" I felt my blood boil. What the hell was Maria doing? "Jasper, you didn't tell me how cute he was!" I was almost certain I had. On many occasions.

I felt my jaw lock. Through gritted teeth, I introduced them, "Seth, this is Maria." Seth's eyes fell on our clasped hands. He shot me a hurt look. I couldn't understand why.

Until it struck me. _Fuck,_ he thinks Maria is my girlfriend!

"Hi." His voice cracked weakly. And he was upset. _Shit!_

Maria noticed, "So nice to finally meet you, Seth." She elbowed me, nonverbally communicating that she was right about him, "It's taken him forever to introduce us. He talks about you _a lot._" I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I had never talked to Seth about Maria, ever. She was never much of a friend until after prom, so I'm sure this looked sketchy as all hell. He had to be upset that I didn't tell him about her, assuming he thought we were dating.

I wanted to apologize, explain. I had to. I couldn't stomach seeing that look in his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but someone beat me to it.

"Oh, so he shows." Leah, Seth's sister appeared from the crowd, a look of _death_ on her face, "Nice to see you again, Jasper. I was beginning to believe you'd miss Seth's special day." Her eyes stared me down coldly. Well, fuck, he must have told her I hadn't answered his calls all week.

"I wouldn't ever." I said with every fiber in me. If I couldn't apologize to Seth now, I could at least prove he was important to me.

"Sorry about being late." Maria interrupted, drawing attention to herself. She leaned her weight on me, "But it was _my_ fault Jasper was running late." And she giggled like a fucking school girl. I had no idea what she was up to.

"That's nice, honey," Leah said curtly, "Join us for dinner, Jasper?" I blinked at Leah, confused. She was inviting me to dinner after staring me down like that? Surely, she had to have wanted me dead after popping up after seven days of ignoring her brother. Or maybe she was being polite. I was going to decline, hoping I could find some alone time to visit Seth afterwards, when Maria answered.

"We would _love _to come."

"Sorry, honey. The place is reserved for 9 only." Leah's tone was clipped. Disregarding Maria, she spoke, "We kept a seat open in case Jasper _decided_ to come." I could read Leah's warning loud and clear. I was only invited because that was what Seth wanted. If it were up to her, I'm sure there would have been bodily harm. I didn't blame her. Whether Seth needed me now or not, I shouldn't have run away like that, not answering his calls even if I was guilty for my thoughts. He was still my best friend.

"Don't worry about it, Jasper," Seth, surprised me by speaking up "It's just dinner." I felt my heart drop. Did this mean he didn't want me to come? Was it really over so soon?

I saw Mrs. Clearwater emerge from the crowd, eyes wide in excitement "Jasper!" she exclaimed, "Where have you been?"

"Was running late." I mumbled, "Sorry, Mrs. Clearwater."

She merely chuckled and waved her hands as if it were nothing, "As long as you're here now, sweetheart." She blinked at Maria, confusion marring her features, "And who is this?"

Maria, finally dropping her act, stuck out her hand, "Maria. I was just making sure Jasper got here on time." She said. There was no trace of the girlish voice anywhere.

I felt my jaw drop. What was Maria pulling?

"Well, you know how boys are." Mrs. Clearwater joked, patting Seth's back.

Seth wasn't paying attention. His eyes were averted to the ground.

He mumbled something about the bathroom before slipping into the crowd of maroon and gold. The women chattered on as I watched him slip away. I couldn't let him leave. I had to say something, anything. I made to move, but a hand was already gripping my elbow.

"Come on."

"What?" I stammered, looking to see why I was being held back.

"I got Seth's mom to invite me to the graduation dinner. Trust me, you'll need me there." And she was already walking away to the parking lot. I stood stone still for a moment, unsure where to go. It was then, I met Leah's eyes. Her gaze was scrutinizing, but there was something else about the way she looked at me, as if she was figuring me out.

Sighing, I knew I had no choice but to follow Maria to the truck. I still had a chance to speak to him.

**\/**

"Now, you definitely can't deny that he was jealous." Maria said with a smug look about her. We were just on our way, pulling out of the packed parking lot, heading to some Steak restaurant in Scottsdale where we'd see Seth and his family again. Though, this time, I knew I _had _to say something to him, especially now that he thought Maria and I were dating.

"He's upset because he thinks I'm dating you and I didn't tell him."

"Exactly." She said with triumph, "And it only fueled his feeling of betrayal. Did you get a good look at him? He was like a kicked puppy." She said proudly.

I felt my gut clench just as my jaw tightened, "Maria-" I growled.

"I wouldn't have put either of you through that unless I knew it was going to help you in the future. I needed you to see that he does feel the same way."

"He's only upset because-"

"Trust me. No best friend looks like _that_ when their friend hides that they had a girlfriend. Sure, they'd be mad, but not _heartbroken_."

"Seth, he's sensitive." I tried to argue, but she wasn't sold.

"He is pretty hot." She spoke quietly, "I can see why you're so _enamored_ by him."

"No you don't." I answered, quietly, "Not until you get to talk to him. He's so fucking special. I don't know why he lets me stick around."

Maria merely smiled, looking out at all the passing cars filled with happy families and graduates, "Oh, I'm sure he feels the same way."

**\/**

The dinner didn't go as I planned.

The place was packed with families, celebrating graduations and end of the school year activities. Mrs. Clearwater and the rest of Seth's family talked in excited voices, laughing and gradually moving from topic to topic along the table. Maria and I sat between to Seth's uncle and grandmother. Maria was lucky to be engaged in conversation while I got the cold glares of the old women, and a few looks from his sister as well who sat just across from me. Seth was tucked away next to his mother.

So far…

The table had only quieted when the food came. Dishes loaded with steak, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, asparagus, and so much more to distract the conversation. I didn't find it in me to eat, so instead I sipped my water and watched Seth answer questions, give tentative smiles at boisterous jokes from his uncle.

He made sure to avoid eye contact with me.

There was much movement around us. It appeared that half the valley thought it was a good idea to have steak after a graduation. In fact, I was seeing quite a bit of maroon and gold.

And a familiar head of copper hair.

My eyes naturally narrowed into slits.

"Seth?" Hearing his voice for the first time, I felt my gut drop. He even _sounded_ attractive. A smile was already crossing Seth's face as he turned to face the voice's owner.

"Edward?" He laughed in surprise. Edward stood behind Seth's chair, gown open, revealing a crisp fitted, white shirt and slacks. His cheeks were tinted pink in excitement –or nervousness –as his eyes gazed around at the table. There were a few curious looks at the young boy, no one was as taken by their interaction as me.

"Hey, you're here too?" Seth's voice was a squeak.

"Yeah," Edward smiled nervously, "I'm here with my parents and sister. They're going to our table." I watched with fire in my eyes as Edward's long fingers played with edge of Seth's chair. It was only a few centimeters away from his neck. I didn't notice how tight I was gripping my cup, until I heard a loud crack. I felt Maria elbow me, but I couldn't pull my eyes away.

"I guess everyone from our school is here." Seth shrugged.

"Yeah," Edward licked his lips, before his eyes darted to Seth's mother, "Hello, Mrs. Clearwater."

"Hello, honey." She answered brightly, "Congratulations. Are you here with your family as well?" She hadn't realized that Seth pretty much asked the same question.

"Yes, I am." He nodded politely "My parents love this place."

"Seth misses having you around." She said nonchalantly, "I heard that you're going to ASU too. Maybe I'll be seeing more of you in the future?" Seth blanched at the suggestion. But I was seeing red…

_Edward was going to ASU too…_

This wasn't looking good for me. At all. Even Seth's mother appeared to like Edward. She only ever liked me.

And Seth.

He avoided looking at me all throughout dinner, and here he was speaking to Edward as if…as if he _was_ me_._ It was like the first day we met and he kept stuttering.

Edward _finally_ left, with promises to see Seth in the future.

I watched him as he went, feeling a fury build in my gut. But it was nothing compared to the shards in my chest, pressing against my insides. Pulling my eyes away, I caught the look Leah gave me, before her eyes darted to Maria's.

She finally spoke up for the first time since we entered the restaurant, "Uncle, you really haven't shown mom the new picture of the kids yet. Why don't we switch seats?" She suggested. Being none the wiser, her uncle agreed and got up with enthusiasm to switch.

Now Leah was planted right next to Maria.

And to my surprise, their heads came together as if in quiet conversation.

But I couldn't think about that now. All that was on my mind was the boy in front me.

Well, the man now, sitting there with his glowing brown skin and soft eyes. This was possibly the last time I could just stare at him and admire as I used to everyday.

I never got to speak to him again that night.

The dinner became a blurred background to the foreground of my mind. I dropped Maria home an hour later and despite her desperate need to get me to talk to her, I couldn't utter a word.

That night, I lay in bed, my mind consumed of Seth. He had been so close yet so far. The desire to speak to him, to touch him was too much.

I wanted to kiss him.

Hell, I wanted to kiss him so bad.

And yet, all I could think about was the way he danced with that Edward guy, the way he smiled at him at dinner, even when he hadn't cracked a smile over the table at me. I wanted that smile for me. And I was eager to see it.

I found myself standing in front of _Changing Hands_, the bookstore I had met the focus of my life more than half a year ago. I knew Seth was a natural busy body and wouldn't let graduation interrupt his work schedule even if he still may have had family back at the house. Rubbing my hands together nervously, I approached the front door I had become all too familiar with. One of Seth's co-workers, Jessica gave me a wide smile and a wave before greeting me with a "Hey Jasper." She had, on more than one occasion, accompanied us in conversations on Seth's breaks.

I stepped around a few book aisles, checking to see if I'd find him organizing or shelving any novels. A ring of laughter instead drew me to where he was. I had missed the carefree chuckle, the way his eyes would sparkle when I said something particularly funny. I hadn't realized how much I loved watching that, seeing a bit of his bold side come out with such uproarious laughter.

My lips were already quirking up on their own as I turned the corner revealing the worn lounge chairs we used to sit and study together in. But what I saw had my heart in my throat.

There Seth sat comfortably next to a familiar boy with auburn hair, both their heads thrown back in laughter, Seth's hand resting comfortably on the boy's lap.

The shards in my chest cut deeper than I believed they could.

He had already moved on, hadn't he? He had already let me go.

\/

"I really wish you wouldn't check my mail." I snapped, throwing the stack of envelopes on the coffee table.

"I really wish you'd get over yourself!" Maria said back, just as viciously. I didn't know why she chose to put up with me. The last two months had been hell. May had bled into June and July wasn't proving to be any better. Maria had attempted to occupy my time by inviting me over for dinners at her uncles' house and even encouraging me join the LGBTQ club on campus so I could at least meet some people _'like me'_ on campus. I knew she was trying to help me move on since I refused to see Seth. She didn't know I had visited him the day after graduation, she didn't know what I had seen. So I suffered with the memory but spent one day out of every week at Eleazar and Santiago's house, truly enjoying the time I had there, but missing Seth even more whenever I seen the two exchange those looks. I went to the summer LGBTQ meetings every Wednesday, Maria as my support system as usual, listened to others talk and discuss life problems at home or coming out.

I wasn't sure what I was, but being there I knew that what I felt for Seth was palpable and real. If there was anything that was getting better, it was me coming to terms with my love for him. It was something that wouldn't ever go away, even if he never knew of it at all. Maria and I met new people in the club and we'd occasionally meet up for dinner, but it changed nothing else. I still missed him as if he was a missing part of me and sometimes it resulted in some pretty bad days, that July morning being one of them.

Maria had taken to staying in the vacant room in the dorm to keep me company. She was the roommate I never asked for, but nevertheless appreciated at the end of the day. She stood before me then in her oversized shirt and slippers, a glare on her face.

"Jasper Hale Whitlock, stop sulking and read your mail." I rolled my eyes and continued eating my Frosted Flakes. I felt her stare throughout the entire meal, so it didn't take long for me to succumb to her request, placing the bowl down and shifting through the mail. There was a letter from my parents, another credit card offer, an ASU pamphlet for preparations for the upcoming Fall semester and a decorative lilac colored card. I felt my brows furrow as I picked it up and read.

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Leah and Sam Uley…_

I looked up at Maria before I finished reading the rest, "What the hell is this?"

"An invitation to a wedding, from what it looks like." She shrugged.

"Leah invited me." I said in disbelief, "Why? I mean, after the whole-"My palm dug into my eye furiously as I tried to understand just why Seth's very protective sister would invite me to her wedding when her brother may not even want me there.

"Oh, Jasper." Maria sighed sympathetically, sitting next to me. Just thinking about Seth hurt too much. I wasn't sure I could stomach seeing him at a wedding with happy couples, especially if his _friend_ was there.

"Look, we'll go together and it'll be good. We'll have fun, drink champagne and dance-"

"What?" I was suddenly startled from my thoughts, "Maria, you didn't-?"

"Oh, I got my invitation last week when she was mailing them out." She spoke with casualness, "I had the honor of having it handed to me."

"You-" I stammered, "Wait a- How?"

Maria stared back at me with wide, innocent, brown eyes, "Certainly you didn't think I was going to let you give up so soon, Jasper." She giggled.

"Tsk, tsk, _mi amor_, you should have known better." Raising a hand over her heart, she said full-heartedly, "_Maria sabe todo."_

_\/_

**_AN: So considering this chapter, I thought it was fair to finish off from Seth's POV. So yes, a third chapter is going to be added. _**

**_What do you think is going to happen? Will Seth be with Edward? Will Jasper go to the wedding? I'm also curious about what you think of Maria. I felt it was nice to have her as a companion instead of the usual enemy or tramp we get in other fics. I'm eager for thoughts!_**

**_I have a poll up on my livejournal regarding your favorite twislash couples. I'm so curious to know what you guys like. The link is posted up on my profile. Vote away!_**


	3. Seth POV A Wedding and a Corsage

**Author's Notes:** I admit. I have a problem. This chapter was supposed to be a mere 5,000 words. There's a slight 10,000 word addition to it. I am unable to shut characters up once they open their mouths. I'm actually a but nervous about this final chapter. It didn't come out as I expected, so I'll leave the judgement in your hands.

**Disclaimer: **_Adult situations told from a character who's just too cute to say 'cock', 'jizz' and 'monkeyslut'. Sorry guys, this is censored porn. Seth style._

_**\/**  
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_Seth POV_

My heavy steps echoed down the long, decorative halls. I didn't care what today was oh how flipping my sister complained she wanted it to be. It didn't matter now that I knew…

That I saw the i_nvitation_ in his hand and he was invited.

Life had been fantastic without him. I was two weeks away from becoming a freshman in collage. I actually had a new set of friends and I had moved on.

Like he did.

I know college freshman aren't supposed to get teary-eyed, but it most certainly was from rage _this_ time, not from missing him. I mean, it wasn't like I missed him at all. Not one bit. There was no reason I should, not after graduation and him disappearing altogether. It was as if that was it for him. I was no longer interesting to him, no longer a friend.

I hiccupped back a sob, lifting my fists to knock on her door obnoxiously. I could hear the whispered conversation from inside and my guts churned as I pulled back my fists to strike…

Life had to have been better without him. That night after the dinner, I sulked upstairs as my family had a round of champagne and good laughs for _my_ special day. I was almost thrown that Leah didn't follow me up this time, harassing me as I expected. In fact, I hadn't spoken to her since the dinner when she switched seats with Uncle Charlie. Whatever was keeping her away I was glad for it.

I found myself waking up early the next morning, brushing my teeth, taking a shower –just going through the motions. I had put in for more hours for the summer, hoping to save for books for next semester. I was working while many of my co-workers were on vacation or at least enjoying the first weekend of the summer. It had been a dull, boring morning. The shifts were significantly longer and without meaning when Jasper wasn't nestled on the reading chairs, a book perched on his lap and deep dimples marking his cheeks. God, he was gorgeous and funny and everything I could ever hope for in a friend. And he wasn't here. And he wasn't ever coming back.

I felt my chest tighten, the world suddenly felt too close around me, pressing in, so much pressure. I shot to the bathroom, finding a stall to hide in until my attack went down. It took longer than I expected, like the first time after my dad's death. I clamped a hand over my mouth, quieting any cries my body was unable to contain. I felt abandoned again, lost to gather what little I had left of myself.

It was hard bringing myself down from the attack on my own, but once I had a marginal grip on myself, I stepped out of the bathroom only to be greeted by solid body and a slew of apologetic words. I recognized the voice right away.

"Edward?"

"Oh! Seth!" He smiled in relief, "There you are! I was just in the neighborhood and remembered you worked here. I wanted to drop by and say hi." There was a pink blush on his cheeks, suggesting that perhaps he wasn't in the neighborhood, but was wondering if whether I was _still_ working here, "I was just giving up hope…" He chewed his bottom lip, avoiding my gaze.

"I was in the bathroom." My throat was still raw from crying, so I'm sure it must have sounded as if a frog was stuck in my throat.

Apparently Edward noticed. His eyes met mine, before widening, "Seth, are you okay?" I felt my throat tighten and the compression in my chest was back. There was no way to talk, so I shook my head no, "Do you need to sit down?" Without waiting for an answer, he gingerly took my hand in his, his long fingers cocooning my own before he guided me to the very same chairs Jasper used to patiently wait for me in. He took a seat next to me, offering me a gentle smile.

"You don't have to talk about it but is there anything I can do?" He was sincerely worried. His pink lips were drawn down in a frown and the softness of his eyes was directed at me. As alone as I felt, I knew I found a friend in Edward somehow. I let myself relax on the lounge chair I used to find a comfort in a few months ago. My body curled over, my shoulders hunched as I thought of what to say. Of course I wasn't going to tell him he _could_ do something. There was nothing anyone but Jasper could do right now. And that was pointless.

"I..there's nothing anyone can do." I answered honestly.

"Do you just want to talk about something else then?" When I didn't answer, he spoke up again, his voice gentle but teasing, "Is it obvious that I just really wanted to see you?"

I frowned, unsure of what he was asking, "What?"

"You seriously didn't believe I was 'just in the neighborhood', right?" He asked, with a raise of an eyebrow.

When the question finally registered, I felt a grin crack on my face. Of course I had thought it, but knew not to confront him. I was actually shocked he brought it up, "No, I didn't, but I wasn't going to question it."

Edward groaned, "So we could have avoided taking about this to spare me the embarrassment, right?" Edward made a show of leaning back against the chair, hiding his rosy cheeks.

I laughed again, patting his knee reassuringly, "I won't hold it against you, Edward."

"I guess I ruined the smooth act, huh?" He pouted, peeking at me impishly. I had been surprised at prom seeing such a playful side to him, but in the light of day out of the rare circumstance of formal dressing and dancing together, I found myself almost flabbergasted. He had surely grown and matured since the last time we had time to ourselves over a year ago. The faint blush on his cheeks was complimentary to his lighter complexion. It was a physical response I wasn't use to. Jasper had only ever had that tinge in his cheeks during our strenuous hikes on Camelback or when it was a particularly hot day. It was never out of bashfulness. I felt my heart warm at the thought of him on prom night. I was sure I had seen a blush then, but maybe I was dreaming things.

And like that, I realized my hand was still on Edward's lap. We had both stopped laughing then, as if aware of a line that may have been crossed. My hand slipped from his leg and onto mine and I looked away, feeling guilty that I touched him.

And my heart jumped in my chest.

There, not a few yards away I saw the tall, lithe body I had become so familiar with and the head of golden hair shining even under the dim lights of the bookstore. My breath caught as I watched the illusion disappear behind the stacks. I had let my imagination run away with me.

A warm hand was on mine, "Seth, does it make you uncomfortable?" Edward asked. I blinked, returning to reality before looking at him. Edward was serious again. I had to wonder what he was thinking.

"Does what make me uncomfortable?"

"Us here like this. Me wanting to see you or…" He bit his lip, "Me touching your hand?" To emphasize his point, his long fingers weaved with my own. I watched in wonder and disbelief. It wasn't like I didn't know he was a flirt or that he was gay, I just never assumed he actually _liked_ me.

"Umm," I was a bit taken back. His hand immediately untangled from mine and he pulled back, guessing I needed space, but I shook my head in disagreement, "No, it's not something that bothers me, Edward."

He didn't appear convinced, "You don't like me," He stated softly. He looked sad, but not necessarily hurt. Almost pensive. Again, I had to wonder what he was thinking.

"No," I stammered, but shut my eyes, unsure of how to explain this, "I mean, I do, but it's…I'm a little out of my element here, Edward."

His eyes searched mine, "I'm being too forward, right?" He winced, "I'm sorry, I always thought you were…but I didn't want to push you or anything, then at prom when we talked and we danced, I assumed that maybe..and we exchanged numbers." He ranted, looking more flustered by the word. I knew I needed to ease his anxiety, so I made the initiative to once again rest my hand on his thigh.

"Edward, you're not being too forward and I don't _not_ like you. I've always thought you were nice and similar to me. I'm attracted to you, but I-" I inhaled deeply, "I'm trying to get over someone."

His eyes widened considerably, "Oh." And then realization dawned on him, "_Oh_. God, I'm sorry, Seth. You're upset about someone and here I am just eager to snatch you up, no questions asked." I was honestly flattered by his blatant admission about wanting me _like that_. Even with Jacob in high school, he had never been so open about wanting me for himself, though we were never in a relationship.

Even as my heart ached, I couldn't help but laugh, "Edward, it's okay. I'm happy you stopped by. We really need to hang out sometime." I knew he was heaven sent and was sure my entire summer would have been bleak if he hadn't stopped by. I thought maybe this was a sign. Maybe I was _supposed_ to move on.

I spent much of June with Edward, touring the campus together, meeting his family again and even spending time with him at _Changing Hands_. It was different than time spent with Jasper. Blaringly different, but Edward was heartwarming, kind and playful. He was a comfort to my abandonment and time with him was well spent not thinking of Jasper. I loved and hated the distraction Edward was proving to be. And the possibility of more was right around the bend. We hadn't talked much of Jasper. All that he knew was that I had been in love with someone who didn't love me back. But that was enough to express I just wasn't ready for anything. This lead to Edward becoming consciously aware of our bodily contact and keeping his hands to himself, though I honestly didn't mind the occasional graze of the hand or pressing of his thigh against mine. I was amused that he'd stammer and pull away even if our shoulders touched, but over the weeks I pleaded for him to relax and convinced him I was okay with it.

And just like that, a dam broke.

It was only a few days after our last –of many –discussions about my being comfortable with him and the occasionally innocent touches, did a touch of the not so innocent kind occur. It was an exhaustingly hot June afternoon. Edward had invited me over for a day spent swimming in his family's massive pool. After a few hours of sunbathing and goofing around in the clear, blue water, we called it quits and decided to make lunch and watch some old re-runs of cartoons on the Boomerang channel. I was momentarily content, full on a turkey and swiss sandwich and giggling at the prospect of Edward admitting that much of his television time was spent watching cartoons when I felt the tingle of his fingers against my skin.

I had been aware of his eyes watching me when we were swimming, and I admit I had been watching him too. Admiring how the sun made his hair shine and the reflected drops of blue sparkle on his skin. I had known that if given the chance, I'd touch him, but something held me from doing so and I wasn't sure what exactly it was, "I love how flawless your skin is." Edward sighed. I shuddered at the tickle of his finger along my shoulder, "And God, it looks even more beautiful after hours in the sun."

I held my breath waiting for the next words, the next touch.

"Is this okay?" his breath was a warm puff against my neck as he leaned in, open palms now gliding down my chest. The lasting wetness of our swimming was evident in our trunks, clinging to our thighs. With the shifting of his hips, I could feel his wet trunks against my legs getting a sharp intake of breath from me. I nodded, scared as to where this was going, but not exactly ready for it to stop. The terry cloth towels under us wrinkled and slid as he moved again, his palms sliding down my torso and up again until fingers were curled around my skin, touching my dried hair at the nape of my neck.

"Please," He begged, "Can I kiss you?"

Without a thought, I answered, "Yes." And despite the cool breeze blowing from the air conditioner, or the last shivers from a fresh glass of ice cold soda, our bodies pressed together in a warm embrace and our kiss a searing heat I knew I wanted for so long. We were stuck in that dance, applying and retracting pressure as we got used to the feel of each other. Edward eagerly ran his fingers through my hair, combing and tugging lightly, before pulling away to chew his lip.

"I've wanted to do that for…so long." He chuckled, before groaning contently, "Seth, I like kissing you."

It was an understatement. By the first July weekend, I was sure my lips were constantly swollen by just how many times Edward and I kissed. It was all we did. Since my mother and Leah were constantly distracted with wedding plans, my home was empty more so than not, so I took advantage on the 4th and invited Edward over, knowing that even on a holiday, my mother and Leah would be holed up at some café going over plans. They wouldn't be home until the start of fireworks, which gave Edward and I time to talk or just simply make-out.

I had opened the door that afternoon, greeted by green eyes and a bright smile. No dimples, no sterling blue. There was a blush in place of a knowing smirk. And while my heart ached, I was still happy to see him. At this point, I was sure that life was good even without Jasper.

As expected, we wasted no time, throwing ourselves onto the couch, kissing, whispering heated words and giggling. Edward was particularly playful that day, nipping at my exposed neck, making me groan and wiggle from the tickle of his breath. I knew he could feel what he was doing to me. It wasn't the first time, though I was still a bit conscientious about it. I knew from his skill and ease with touching and kissing that I wasn't the first person he was with. And judging by how he had taken my _reaction_ to his touches, he may have gotten farther than actual kisses.

But I hadn't. Well, not until I felt his hand skimming over the front of my denim.

"Edward!" I gasped, shocked but definitely pleased with his ingenuity. The pressure of his hand had me squeaking out.

"Is this alright, Seth?" He panted, staring down at me with disheveled hair and rouge cheeks. I was surprised at just how hot I found him. I wanted to voice it, but I noticed we had changed slightly. I was now cornered between the arm and back of the couch, with him straddling my lap. When did we allow ourselves in this position?

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked when I didn't answer quickly enough. Part of me did-the part that still _yearned_ for Jasper.

But he wasn't here.

"Don't stop." I could tell myself that life _was_ fine with Jasper and I was going to be alright, safe with Edward.

Edward –as expected –didn't waste a second.

There we were, on my living room couch, breathing heavy from kissing, both of our lips bruised and plump. He had my shirt off, his hands never ceasing movement, touching, gripping, and clenching me through my clothes. I was quite aware with my time spent with Edward that he was indeed the sexual aggressor out of the both of us. I had never been the type to take control, to dominate so to speak. And to make matters more out of my hand, I had little experience. I watched in anticipation as Edward disrobed his top as well before pressing his chest against mine, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck. My back arched at the feel of him on my entire body. It was electric, a razor, hot zap through my system resulting in violent tremors that I couldn't control. I heard Edward's chuckle in my ear as his nimble fingers found the zipper and button of my jeans.

And then his warm fingers were on me, and the world –even Jasper –disappeared for a second. I couldn't hold back the groan emanating straight from my body with force. Cupping his face, I kissed him again, nonverbally giving him the permission to continue. His hand worked slowly, getting to know my body, before the pleasure came tenfold. Our kiss grew more intense as he applied pressure. Only once did we stop and that was to lean back and lick his palm erotically before reapplying and continuing where he left off, his touch slicker. With my legs hugging his hips, Edward continued with vigor, nipping and licking a line up my neck, enjoying every outburst I made.

I was so close.

My eyes rolled back, completely lost at the overwhelming sensation.

Almost there.

My whines became a chant, I hadn't become aware of. My thoughts a blur of blue and gold, a husky, twang lingering like a forgotten melody. My head was thrown back and my world fell apart.

_Jasper._

Muscles tightened, convulsed and released, Edward's encouragement whispered in my ear, my body humming from the short-lived euphoria. It felt wrong. So wrong. The pressure against my body wasn't his, the lips touching me and the sweet, soft melodic voice wasn't his husky drawl.

I felt my muscles tighten again, my body wracking. It wasn't until Edward scrambled off of me, did I realize I was sobbing.

"Seth!" Edward's arms hugged my sides and pressed me against his chest as the tremors increased. My head lolled onto his shoulder as I attempted to come down from the bawling, but it was an all-encompassing sorrow. He was gone. He really was _gone_. And I wasn't sure I could do this. It felt too much like betrayal.

I still loved him.

Edward waited patiently, rocking me gently as my cries softened to whimpers. When he finally spoke, I had since quieted the last of my hiccups, though my cheeks were still wet, "You're not ready for something like this." Edward stated, "I like you a lot, Seth, but it's my fault this happened. I won't do anything like this again."

"It's not your fault." I argued, though it was hard to sound convincing with an overworked, raw throat from crying. I pulled away to look at him, "I thought I was over him. I thought I could do this. I like you too, Edward." He gave me a sad smile, before wiping a stray tear away with his thumb.

"Tell me about him?" He finally asked with curiosity and understanding in his eyes. I knew I could trust him, but I was scared that maybe I would hurt Edward. It was bad enough I cried after him touching me the way he did.

I hesitated only after a second or two before nodding. Edward's eyes lit up to my surprise, before he stood, suggesting we clean up the mess I made and button up. I was suddenly _aware_ of my predicament. I would have laughed if it wasn't so pathetic that I had just been crying not moments before. I felt bad for not returning the favor or thanking him and he saw it before I could speak up.

Pressing his lips chastely to mine, he whispered, "All I care about right now is making you feel better, Seth. I can take care of myself later." Before I could argue, he spoke again, "Now, please. I want to know about him."

That night I told Edward everything. From the moment I saw Jasper, to prom, to the graduation dinner. I watched Edward carefully as he smiled when I mentioned Jasper's nicknames for me or when he bought me the corsage and frowned when I mentioned his mood change at prom. When I had finally finished, it was nearing the time I expected my mother and Leah to be back. We were presentable now, but I wasn't ready for my sister to see Edward with me, especially since now I knew for a fact I wasn't over Jasper yet.

Our time was almost up, but I was still eager to hear what he had to say nevertheless. I watched as he thought for a second, before he leaned in to cup my cheek, "He means a lot to you and you sure do mean a lot to him too, Seth."

"I don't-" He shook his head, suggesting that he wasn't finished.

"I think…" He sighed sadly, "I think maybe Jasper is hiding something as well."

I snorted, "Like a girlfriend?" He shook his head again.

"Something else, maybe."

The days that followed were a blur of shopping for school supplies and preparing for college. My mother wanted to get all of it done early before the wedding and I was eager to have my mind off of Edward's words and Jasper for the moment. I spent hours reading the first chapters of each textbook, trying to get into the school zone, but it was a failed attempt. Edward was still keeping contact with me, though our relationship had quickly transformed into something other than what it had been before. There was no flirting on his part. I was partially disappointed that I had been pushed into a friend zone, but I was still thankful that Edward cared enough to acknowledge that I wasn't quite over the heartbreak. The next weekend that passed, I found Edward on my doorstep a bright smile on his face. He talked animatedly, almost too fast for me to catch. He found out there was a LGBQ club on campus and had already met some of the people there.

"The president, Kate was so sweet. She invited us to one of their meetings. It's more of a get-to-know type of thing, rather than an actual formal meeting, but she said they'll be other freshmen there." I gawked at him as he rattled on, only taking a breath after he realized I hadn't spoken a word yet, "Seth?"

"Edward, why are we going?"

"Don't you think it'll be nice to know more people like us? Meet some guys and-"

_Oh._

I had a sudden urge to hug Edward. Not only did he want to help get my mind off of Jasper, he was hoping that maybe I'd meet someone new.

"Edward," I sighed, "You're such a lovable person and just…perfect. If I could turn you down, what makes you think I won't turn others down as well?" He rolled his eyes, not impressed.

"I'm not asking you to fall in love with anyone. It would just be nice, you know?"

He had a point. So I found myself not hours later, standing in the doorway of the club's office, staring at a dozen smiling faces. We were welcomed and introduced to all present, though there were many members who weren't there at the meeting. Kate, a pretty brunette with chin length loose curls and bright hazel eyes was as sweet as Edward mentioned. I got to know the others a bit as well, though it was hard to keep track of all the names and faces.

"Jake still isn't back from vacation yet, but you'll love him off the bat when you see him." Kate said with a roll of her eyes, "He's just charming that way."

"He sure is." Peter added with a smirk. He looked like a bad boy with blue eyes, dark, short tendrils and tattoos cloaking his entire right shoulder. He shot me and Edward a wink that had the both of us blushing.

"Wait until you see some of the other new-comers," A boy I remembered as Alec spoke up, "There are some studs. Like that tall blonde. What was his name, Kate? Juniper?"

"I hardly remember any Junipers." Kate chortled, "But I _do_ remember him. There are a lot of new faces, so don't worry about it. Everyone eventually finds their place here."

And it didn't take long for us to. After meeting the group twice over the following week, we were already familiar with the members. By mid-July, Edward and I had been invited to a few parties, but it wasn't until Jake stepped into the picture that I knew things were really going to change for us. It was during another random meet-up with Kate introducing us to Dmitri, one of the new members, did we hear the knock on the doorframe. There standing taller and more muscled than the last time I saw him was Jacob Black, my first kiss. There was a wide grin on his face as he greeted everyone warmly, exchanging banter with Peter and some of the others while hugging Kate. I watched, baffled at how small the world was, when Jacob's eyes landed on me.

"Well, would you look at how _you_ grown." Jacob smirked, "Hey, Seth. Long time…"

"Ditto." I replied. His arm came around my shoulder in a friendly hug before he pulled back to look me over, "Looking good. I guess that mother and sister kept you nice and safe from predators like me." He joked, causing me to roll my eyes. Jacob had always come off a bit edgier than what my mother was used to. And the motorcycle didn't help. I turned to Edward, ready to introduce the two, but found myself amused by his expression.

He looked mesmerized and nervous, his hands fumbling together as he chewed his lip. I almost laughed, noticing just how his cute and innocent act was a clever cover for how handsy and devious Edward really could be. Jacob noticed where my gaze was and followed. And I was once again entertained with that dreamy mesmerized look. I checked to see if anyone else noticed, and sure enough, they were all watching with levels of interest.

"Jacob, this is Edward. Edward, this is Jacob. He went to our school."

A bright smile graced Jacob's face as he spoke, "I sure as hell would have remembered _you_."

I was unable to contain my snort, "Edward moved to Tempe junior year after you graduated." I spoke for him, knowing Edward would be no help.

Jacob's hand shot out for a shake, "Nice to meet you, _Edward_."

"….Hi." Edward replied meekly shaking his hand. I could hear Peter behind us cough to cover his own laugh.

We all watched as their hands met and a look of perplexity took over them both. Edward's lips were parted and Jacob frowned before covering the confusion with a laugh, "Well, it's a pleasure. Really, it is." At that, Peter didn't cover his laugh and neither did Kate.

It didn't take long before Edward spoke to me a few days later, bothered about something. We were innocently sitting in his room, eating lunch and talking about the courses we were going to take, when he cleared his throat.

"Seth, I was wondering if it would be okay if Jacob took me out to dinner." He started slowly, eyes fearful.

I frowned, wondering why he would need my permission. Maybe he thought I'd be jealous that he was seeing someone? I didn't think it was fair to be in any type of relationship with Edward while missing Jasper, even if I like him a lot. And it certainly wasn't right to keep him from seeing someone he was interested in, "Sure. I could tell you like him." I shrugged, grabbing an orange slice before popping it into my mouth.

"It doesn't bother you?" He asked, confused.

I shook my head, "Why would it?"

He averted his eyes, picking at the crust of his tuna sandwich, "He told me you dated in high school…"

Oh.

I laughed, thinking back to being 16. Jacob was indeed my first crush. He was as confident and cool now as I remembered him back then, but I couldn't feel a trace of those affections for him, never could since Jasper.

"It's okay. I promise." Edward stared at me for a long while, still unsure, "Edward, it's okay. I can tell he's _smitten _by you." I teased.

His smile was bright and big, "Can you?" He was hopeful, brimming with excitement. When I nodded, he nearly squealed, grapping me into a hug, "I really like him."

Indeed, a small world it was.

As I expected, their first date was a success. As was their second and third. I lost count after that.

The second half of July became dismal.

Hearing Edward talk on the phone day-in and day-out about Jacob hurt. At first, I thought it was because of the cruel irony of them both being men I had some intimate relationship with, but it was more than that, so much more than that.

I felt abandoned again.

I knew I wasn't. Edward still called and came over, though it was less frequent now that he spent much of his time with Jacob and the club members. I was happy that he was able to find someone like Jacob, but resentful that I had something marginally like that and lost it.

I hid in my house, focusing on mindless things or preparing for school with early studying. With the excitement at home at its peak and Edward spending a lot of time with Jacob, it was harder for anyone to notice just how withdrawn I had become. But I did, as well as the fact that I was thinking about Jasper _more_, not less. I missed him so much, too much, that at night, the pain was overwhelming, a pressure against my chest, until I was panting for breath.

Most anyone in the world could walk away from me, just not him. With Jasper, I had my first real friend, the person who made me braver, more adventurous, and willing to take risks. I was beginning to overcome dad's death. But now, it felt like a fresh new wound.

It was a week before the wedding when my phone rang on the nightstand as I stepped back in my room after a shower. The ringtone was almost an intrusion to the silence I had been used to in the last few days. I couldn't even recall the last time it rang. Sometime over the week, I suppose Edward must have stopped calling, though I couldn't even recall noticing when that could have been.

I checked the caller ID, seeing a number I was unfamiliar with before answering.

"It's nice to see you're alive."

"Jacob?" I couldn't keep from sounding surprised, "Is there something wrong? Has Edward-"

"Tried to call you for the last few days? Yes, he has. And you haven't answered." He finished for me, "You know, I can tell Edward doesn't want to step on toes here and give you some space but I won't. This is when you need someone to talk to."

I didn't answer right away. Now I wasn't so sure I wanted them around. With Jasper on the forefront of my mind nearly every moment of the day, I didn't know if I was ready to see Edward and Jacob make googly eyes at each other.

"Tell Edward I'm fine." I tried to sound convincing, but I wasn't sure I had the capability to do so.

Jacob was silent for a second, "Why don't you tell him yourself."

There was a rustling on the other line as if the phone was being handed to someone, "Seth?" I groaned, knowing this must have been one of those situations where Edward confessed a concern and Jacob was taking action.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"You haven't….answered my calls." He sound hurt, rejected and it cause a twang of pain in my gut knowing that I was responsible, "Did I do something?"

"No, Edward." I gripped my hair in frustration, pacing around my room with my phone pressed to my ears, "I'm just…I can't…"

And there it was again. The pressure.. It only ever happened late at night when I couldn't sleep and my mind began to work…It only ever happened when I knew I'd never see that dimpled smile again.

"Seth?" Edward sounded panicked over the line. I bent over, attempting to take in big breaths, "Seth, say something!"

My hands were trembling too much to hold the phone. It clattered at my feet as I stumbled and grabbed the frame of my bed to keep myself up. My legs buckled and suddenly I was finding myself curled on the mattress trying to keep my breath.

I didn't understand why it would hurt this much. Six months wasn't 13 years. Why did it feel _worse _than losing dad? I knew I loved him and he was my best friend, but this is what happens when you got older, right? This is growing up; letting others go and making new friends. I was supposed to be happier that I could be out.

But my heart just wasn't in sync with my brain.

My knuckles lost all color, cramping as I clutched the comforter of my bed. I had momentarily forgotten that Edward could still be on the phone. How much time had passed? Before I could think to move, there was a thunderous banging downstairs. My breathing had somewhat returned to normal, but I was too tense to move and find out what it was.

My phone rang for the second time that day and there was an even louder bang, before I heard the heavy footsteps and Jacob's voice calling me.

"Seth, where are-"His voice died in his throat right as we caught sight of each other. He looked fearful, though I wasn't sure why.

"Seth," He called softly, taking tentative steps.

"Jake, is he okay?" A less heavy pattering of feet followed before a disheveled and concerned Edward stepped into the room. Almost instantly his eyes brimmed with tears when he saw me, "Oh god."

My muscles relaxed finally, giving me the opportunity to move, "I'm okay." My voice sounded brittle, though I was glad that I was at least able to speak.

Neither of the two appeared convinced. Edward marched over, placing a palm to my forehead, frowning when he didn't catch a fever.

"It was just a panic attack." I shrugged, "I promise, I'm okay."

"You don't look okay, kid." Jacob said with raised eyebrows, "You're in the fetus position in…boxers."

I wanted to laugh at his observation. I didn't look okay, but I was-

I blinked. My heart felt heavy as I recalled what Jacob said. _Kid_, he called me kid. Before the realization hit me, my eyes teared up. I felt the weight of the bed dip as the familiar long fingers combed through my hair in comfort. Through a blurred vision I watched as Jacob gave Edward a pleading look. Edward nodded curtly before Jacob stepped back away from us.

"I'll give you two a moment to talk." He said gruffly, before treading out of the room. Edward's eyes followed him before he was completely out of sight.

Wiping my eyes, I stared at Edward, appraisingly, wondering what the heck nonverbal conversation they exchanged, "What was that about?"

He considered my state before answering softly, "He thinks you're upset because we're dating." I scoffed, feeling surprisingly bitter. Edward's expression drew down at my reaction, but I couldn't really empathize. He didn't have to worry about Jacob leaving him anytime soon. The boy was like a lovesick puppy.

"Jacob doesn't have to worry about that. I didn't want you, remember?" Edward winced at each harsh word I spat out. Unfortunately I couldn't be indifferent to his feelings for too long. I sighed, apologizing for my snide remark. He nodded without speaking, letting me know it was okay, "I just need to be by myself, okay?"

"Why?" He asked, suddenly looking slighted, "We can talk about it and hang out like we use to. You were better before…"

"Before you became busy." I tried to keep the sullenness out of my tone, but it was hard. Edward had a relationship with Jacob that reminded me of Jasper. He was a confidant and someone I could trust with just about anything. I couldn't be in Edward or Jacob's company being constantly reminded of it.

Edward chewed his lip nervously, "Seth," he said slowly, "I wouldn't do that to you. I've been trying to call you to hang with us, go out."

I shook my head, "I can't be a third wheel…"

Edward's eyes widened like saucers, "What? No!" He cried adamantly, "Most of the time we're with other people or just Bella, Jake's best friend. She's been asking about you a lot…" His voice trailed off.

My eyes lifted to meet his, "So you talk about me?"

I was relieved to see him smile shyly, "Of course. This summer has been so much fun. I really missed you." He sighed, "I was scared to say anything since I thought you were mad or something…"

I shook my head, fingering my boxer briefs, before clearing my throat as I realized just how this must make Jacob uncomfortable, "Umm, maybe I should get dressed." Edward's eyes followed mine before widening again. As expected, a blush tinted his cheeks, though I'm sure this time it was from the same concern I had about Jacob rather than anything perverse.

"Oh. Right." He nodded and jumped up, already high-tailing it to the door. He stopped only when I called after him.

"I'm not mad," I clarified, "Just- I miss someone too."

His eyes softened in empathy, "I know, but I'm here to help."

I decided that it was better for me to distract myself with friendly company rather than be alone. It was driving me crazy being in the house all the time, studying for classes that didn't officially start yet. That fated afternoon changed in that speaking to someone about Jasper more kept from the insane anxiety attacks and the need to get over him by myself. With the exception of Jacob's initial concern about me and Edward together, we got along and eventually over the following days, he relaxed and all our romance history was forgotten. Edward had been right about being in the company of friends. It lessened the pang of Jasper not being there. In the entire week, whenever I was in their company I was also with Bella, so I never felt like a third wheel. I actually liked Bell, who was sweet, but knew how to hold herself in the presence of men –gay men, but men all the same. By the time my sister's wedding had come, I was still getting my mind around freshman year with a whole set of new acquaintances and no _rockstar_ smile and deep dimples.

So of course, there was my surprise when I caught that _same_ face I missed for 3 months standing no more than 6 feet from me, entering the estate with _her_. My legs trembled as I turned on my heel, marching right to the room where I knew my sister to be.

And here I was, knocking on the door as if I had indeed gone completely insane.

The voices hushed before my mother opened the door, perhaps expecting the wedding planner to be frenzied with concern about uninvited guests or a ruined cake. Instead, they got something worse –me.

"Seth, honey, what is it?" She cupped my cheeks, probably noting the tears threatening to spill out. Instead I jerked away from her and entered the room where my sister stood in a gorgeous modern gown, an uncharacteristic look of joy on her face. If this had been anyone else, I would have avoided barging in and demanding what she had done on her _own_ wedding day, but this was _Leah_. I knew she had been expecting this. It was all part of some insane plan, which disturbed me only because she never made dumb plans, just insane ones. She had something up her sleeve and she had been keeping it from me from how long?

Well, it did make sense. She had been _too_ silent about Jasper and that girl even after the catty way she had spoken to him at graduation. She never brought either of them up after and I had been too consumed with spending time with Edward or just being unavailable to notice. She watched me through the mirror, as if expecting something.

"_Why_ are they here?" I hissed out.

"Who, honey?" My mother was the one to acknowledge my question. I ignored her, glaring at Leah's reflection. Her lips lifted in a coy smile.

"Seth," She started slowly, "There's a lot of family and friends here, many we haven't seen in _awhile_ and we've all missed. Maybe you should stop and say hi." She was being smug I knew it.

"Leah is right. You haven't seen your cousins in years. Don't you think it would be nice to see how they are doing?"

"Jasper is here!" I shouted, "With…that…_girl_!"

My mother looked to Leah, then back to me, her expression morphing to understanding, then purpose, "Well, that's nice." Her lips twitched, but that was all the reaction I got from her.

"Aren't you…mad?" I nearly screeched. I wanted to throw a tantrum, stomp my feet and maybe scream.

"About what, honey?" My mom asked casually.

"That the boy I've been in love with for a year just disappears without a word and then suddenly shows up with a _girl_ I never knew about…twice!" It came out so fast and so swift that I literally gasped right after the words left my mouth.

I just came out to my mother.

Now my mother looked smug.

Oh lordy.

Leah spoke, finally turning away from the mirror to face me, "Did you even _ask_ Jasper if Maria was dating him?"

Leah seemed a little too rational about the situation. I felt my eyes narrow when I thought back to the graduation dinner. She had switched seats with my uncle….to sit next to that girl _Maria_. What the hell did she do?

Leah appeared to be done with the conversation, heaving a content sigh before standing on her feet, "This dress was a steal, seriously." She said nonchalantly to my mom, "Rosa has the best deals."

"Doesn't she?" My mother gushed, and like that, they were squealing little girls again talking about satin, lace and gowns. It was as if my sister wasn't getting married in less than an hour. It was as if I hadn't come out.

I felt kind of deflated and annoyed and I just couldn't stand there in the room with them any longer. I may be gay, but I've never been into high fashion or interior design. It was all annoying actually.

I made to leave the room, unsure how to face the rest of the day, when I heard my mother call me. Surprised I turned to see her eyes sparkling with adoration, "I'm proud of you, honey." She said warmly, "Now please be cordial and spark up some conversation to the _guests._" I could only guess what she meant.

I wasn't even going to _look_ at Jasper, let alone speak with him.

But it was going to be really hard.

Even with that cloud hovering over my head, I stepped out of the bride room feeling lighter. I had never really thought about coming out to my mom, officially. There was no reason to. I never had a boyfriend to introduce. And even with the brief first crush relationship with Jacob and my unrequited love for Jasper I never thought it was enough to _say_ anything, but I think deep down I knew she knew. There was never talks about a girlfriend and not once did she do the typical "I can't wait until _you_ get married" after Leah's surprise proposal.

In fact, it was her idea for Jasper and I to go to prom together.

I was beginning to understand where Leah got her insane ideas from.

I marched back to the guest hall where the groom's kin was thankfully handling a lot of the guests. Leah's soon-to-be husband had a big family and thankfully they filled the gap for ring bearer, best man and all the other male roles I didn't have to face. I was even blessed with not being a groomsman, but I think _that_ idea was my sister's, mainly because that I had to partner up with one of the bridesmaids. And that could have been awkward for me.

My job was just to be there in support. I could do that, especially now that I _knew_ that being up there aware that Jasper could be watching me would have made me uncomfortable. I said a few quick hi's to cousins and my aunts and uncles I hadn't seen at my graduation before I was walking out to the bright garden outside. My sister had thought it better to have a wedding and reception out of a temporarily rented massive estate on the outskirts of Phoenix where the air was actually clearer and the properties were more expansive. She got her way, bringing Sam's family all the way from their home state back to ours. She claimed she wanted to do it here because she wanted to bring the wedding as close to dad since he couldn't literally be here.

I followed the small maze out to the open field and felt a modicum of peace. It wasn't for long. A shiver rushed through my body at the feeling of eyes on me, before I was turning immediately to spot just who might be watching. A blur of golden blonde had my attention, but it disappeared with the crowd walking onto the terrace. I walked towards the family sorted seats, finding mine in the front and decided it was best to just wait here, out of sight.

Soon the crowd followed finding their seats, all animatedly speaking amongst themselves. A surprising cool breeze brushed my cheek, making me sigh in relief. We were still in the dead heat of August, but were fortunate to have clouds in the sky today and a nice drop in the temperature. It was thankfully different than graduation day, sitting in a field, the sun square on my shoulders.

A lot had changed since then.

A felt a warm hand secure around mine before it was brought onto a lap. I didn't need to look up to know it was my mother. The scent of lavender and the familiar warmth at my side was enough. She was already sniffling and blubbering. I didn't expect her to talk.

"I want you happy, honey." She whispered quietly, "Most of us only get one chance in our life and even then, we are on limited time. I know you're young, but I urge for you to cherish what you have." I felt bad hearing those words. I knew where it was coming from. Mom and dad had been happily married before he died. Afterwards, I could tell mom was alone and sad, but there was a tranquility to her, even with the working schedule she had and how tired she was, I never did actually see her _miserable_.

"I know, mom." I mumbled, keeping my eyes trained straight. I knew if I looked at her, I'd probably lose it, "I'll always keep that in mind."

"Good." Her small, warm hands embraced mine, "A good start is talking to him."

I wanted to argue, but this wasn't the right time. And already the quartet orchestra was playing and everyone was in place. The ceremony wasn't as long as ones I had grown up watching in years past. Leah was definitely a "get it done and over with" kind of girl, even if it was a wedding. I knew very well that she preferred the extravaganza to be in the reception, not the ceremony. I had watched as the rather tall, beaming man that was now my brother-in-law spoke in a rumbling voice that was surprisingly full of adoration and respect. I had only ever seen him when he was able to visit on rare vacations from work. From what I knew he was very stable financially, but that meant working some insane hours. I could only guess this was why he was so will to give her a wedding how she wanted and where she wanted it. Vows were exchanged and rings and soon everyone was erupting and standing from the neatly assembled wedding chairs to cheer at the couple as they kissed.

"Blegh!" I stuck out my tongue at the site of sister eating her husband's face. I felt a strong slap on my arm, followed by my mother's chuckle. I waited as the crowd followed the bride and groom back into the massive estate. Already, I could see the catering for the reception was set up on the terrace and inside the house. Knowing I was expected at my assigned table, I walked back inside, trailing slowly, getting an eyeful of people greeting the bride. Leah had already slipped into something less constricting though it was still a very lavish dress. I rolled my eyes at the sight of her. Anything to play dress-up.

I took my seat at the family table, sipping on champagne and nibbling on food as there were toasts and tears. I kept my eyes trained away from the table where I knew a familiar head of blonde hair was. I couldn't even glimpse at him without _still_ being amazed. It was odd, being in the same room and yet not being here _with _him. And it was even more _weird_ knowing he was here with a girl. I just had never thought about a life where both of us would date. I guess I had been too obsessed with being around him to consider it.

I was an idiot.

Finally, with all the formal stuff done, people were moving around, heading to the ballroom where some music was _classy_ music was already starting, while others remained behind to give their blessings to my sister. I had already been a witness to my mother's sob-filled toast, so I decided to take a break and grab another slice of cake. Out on the terrace a view of the sun setting behind the mountains in the distance, giving that trademark Arizona pink and red glow to the sky caught my attention. I admired it for a second taking in deep gulps of a hazy summer near gone. This really was a great wedding on such a beautiful day. It was just ridiculous that it was hard to enjoy it with all that was on my mind. I thought over my mother's words about cherishing life and being happy. Was it worth it to let Jasper's presence upset me even if I still couldn't get over him? Should I take this as a signal to just move on?

As if an answer in corporeal form, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.

I turned and almost immediately had to work against letting a scowl form on my face, "Hey, Cutey." She said sugary sweet, "You look fantastic in a suit. It's nice to know Jasper wasn't exaggerating." It was Maria, smiling as if we were the best of friends.

I blinked at her, not sure what to say. Why was she speaking to me? "I..thank you." Was all I could manage.

She shrugged and tendrils of her long hair fell back over her shoulders. She was really pretty, it was almost sickening, "Loved the wedding." She commented, looking over the decorations and catered food, "The wedding planner must be _real_ special. And that dress," She gave an over-dramatic sigh, "I wonder where she found such a treasure." She snickered coyly, causing me to raise a brow. I knew that look. I had already seen it twice today.

"I have to…"I motioned towards the inside of the house, hoping it would be excuse enough, "Um, nice talking to you." I grumbled when it seemed to work. I nearly scampered away.

"Nice meeting you Seth." She called after me, winking, "We're going to be _great_ friends!"

I felt confused but otherwise relieved to be out of her company.

I made it back to the table without any problems. Everyone appeared to be on the dance floor so I knew I would have some alone time. Right as I was ready to sit and enjoy my cake, I saw it.

A single rose corsage. I stared at it, unsure of what to do. I looked around to see if there was anyone near-by who may have been put up to it, but all lingering guests appeared to be too focused on conversation or eating. I set my slice down, picking of the corsage with a trembling hand and looking it over. It was the exact kind Jasper and I had worn to prom. I couldn't really gather why it would be here…

Unless Jasper was the one to put it there…

My eyes focused on the napkin it had been laying on. There was sloppy writing on it in black ink. I picked it up with my free hand to get a closer look at the scribble and felt my breath hitch and my eyes water when I read the words:

_I miss you._

It was in his handwriting.

I looked around again, but didn't see him in sight. I didn't know what to think of it. It was so easy to just say he missed me on paper, but why wasn't he here? While I didn't know what to think, I couldn't help feeling angry. He had to be insane to think I'd just forgive him after not being told he had a girlfriend then being avoided for three months.

I threw both the rose and napkin down, angry at him and myself. Without another glance, I was rushing to the guest room of the estate on the second floor. The lavish designs on the walls and the winding stairs blurring by as I rushed through the house made me feel sicker, so I kept my eyes down until I was inside the massive bathroom.

And then I was pacing.

He had _no_ right! None! He could have explained why he kept her from me or maybe even told me in the beginning. Why would he keep her a secret? Had he known all along?

"No, no, no." I chanted to myself. I had refrained from thinking about this for the entire summer and maybe I was right to. It didn't matter _why_ he did it. He did it and that was that. And maybe it was for the best. Jasper was a great best friend and he taught me a thing or two about growing out of my shelf. Maybe he was only ever meant to be my friend before college. Maybe-

No, then I wouldn't have fallen in love with him. And he wouldn't have left me a note like that. Man, what the heck was I to do? Could I face talking to him now that so much has changed? Talking to him again would eventually lead to him meeting Edward and Jacob. Could I endure him rejecting me and my new friends was we were gay?

I wracked my brain for what seemed like hours when I heard the soft knock. I jumped, grabbing the counter to keep me from falling over.

"Seth, it's me." My knees buckled at the sound of his voice. It had been weeks since I heard it, "can I come in?" I didn't answer, not because I didn't want to. I just couldn't. So instead, I stared at the door, waiting for him to speak again.

"Please, Seth." He begged, "I just want to see how you're doing."

How I'm doing? He wanted to see how I'm _doing_? Like some sort of friendly conversation? He really had no idea then, because if he had, he'd know that I could barely stand a morning, a day, and especially a night without thinking, fawning and dreaming about him. I resented him for not being aware, for being in love with a girl. I knew it wasn't his fault, I was aware that he'd move on after I entered college but still, somewhere inside I still resented him.

"Go away." It was a weak attempt at getting him to leave and for a moment I really thought he had gone, until I heard a small thud against the door.

"Seth," His voice sounded closer to the door, as if his lips were almost pressed against it, "I really missed you. Just, I need to-" He paused as if at a loss for words.

Suddenly my interest was piqued. It was unlike Jasper to lose his cool, to sound so distraught. He was always a well put together person.

"I know I'm just some hick from Texas that you hung around with. I'm nowhere near as smart as you. You're going into college, and will meet some genius people, fall in love with one and forget about me. All that I'm asking is to see you again-"

Wait a minute. This was not how I was seeing the conversation going. Without another thought, I opened the door, catching his shocked expression before belting out "What are you talking about?" I couldn't understand just what would get such an idea in Jasper's head. Had I ever let on that I thought he was dumb or I was better than him? I fretfully thought back to any intellectual conversation we ever had. All I could remember was being amazed at the knowledge he had. He impressed my _history_ teacher at prom for crying out loud. Where could he be getting this from? "I don't think I could ever forget about you Jasper and in no way do I think you're stupid _or_ hick."

He appeared puzzled, "Then why didn't you speak to me after graduation or after-"

"Because I was angry with you!" I said heatedly, "And hurt that you couldn't tell me that you had a girlfriend!"

"Maria is _not_ my girlfriend!" Jasper said vehemently.

"Then why didn't you answer any of my calls then?" I challenged, "Were you and you're not-girlfriend too busy?"

"I had things on my mind, Seth. I'm surprised it mattered to you with your new friend _Edward_ so willing to take my place." His tone was harsh, so unlike him, "And it wasn't as if you tried again after your graduation, did you? You and _Edward _were the ones who were busy." The words stung, but for whatever reason I wasn't sure. He was implying something and I wasn't sure I wanted to know what it was. Either way, he was right. I hadn't tried calling him again. Maybe he was hurt by it, but it wasn't like he tried contacting me either.

With nothing else left to say, I pushed pass him on my way to the reception downstairs. If this was my fault, then what was he doing here?

"Seth, wait!" He called after me.

I turned, "I'm sorry, okay, Jasper! I guess we both had things on our mind." That should have been it. He was supposed to be happy with that. That was what he came for, right?

But he didn't seem satisfied, "Seth!" He tried again, though this time, I felt his hand wrap around my elbow, "Seth, please-"

I turned, letting my hurt and anger rule my speech, "I'm gay!" It was another classic moment of outing myself at the wrong moment, but I just couldn't hold it back anymore, "That's why I never called again. I knew you'd find out eventually and maybe I was too scared to face up to it. Yes, I was mad that you didn't tell me about her, but more than that, I was mad that-" Anymore and I would have gone too far. I watched for his reaction but he just stared back blankly.

With my heart in my throat I waited. For anything. But all I got was that distant stare. While it was better than an angry outburst, it wasn't what I wished for –the unrealistic acceptance and confession of his love for me. I shook my arm off, ready once again to be leave. But he didn't move. In fact, he looked almost fearful that I was ready to turn away.

"You're…gay." He repeated after me, though it sounded odd coming from him. It was as if he just couldn't believe it.

"Yes." I answered meekly.

"And you didn't tell me."

"I didn't think you'd react positively." I replied, noting how he chose to stare my\e in the eye, "And I'm guessing I was right."

"What?" Finally our gazes met, "Seth, I'm sorry. It's just-"

Well, at least he was taking it better than most straight best friends did, "it's okay, Jasper. I didn't expect you to like this."

"It's not that at all, I mean-_fuck!" _He uttered under his breath, combing his fingers through his waves, "I just..it makes sense." He thought for a second, before his eyes narrowed, "Are you with Edward?"

I shook my head, "No."

He sighed in relief, "Okay, good." Maybe he could deal with me being gay, but not in a relationship? And what about when he found out I had feelings for him. It was daunting to think that even if he was okay with me being gay, he would definitely not be okay with me being in love with him.

"Jasper," I started hesitantly, "There is something I need to tell you-"

"Don't worry, Seth." He chuckled, looking more like his carefree self, "It's okay. I don't care if you're gay. In fact, I'm _very _okay with it."

"No, but you need to know-"

"Hey," He held my shoulders, beaming at me, "It was all a misunderstanding, okay? I'm not in a relationship with Maria and you're not in a relationship. Maria was right, if we had spoken sooner, this would have all-"

"I'm in love with you!" I really needed to work on not _jumping_ out of the closet.

"…What?"

And there it was; my confession now out between us. Jasper appeared willing to forget about our misunderstanding, but could he now? Could he stare me in the eye and say that-

My knees acknowledged his maneuver before my mind did. My legs had already buckled under my weight. He had been quick, sweeping one arm around me so our lips would meet in the middle. I had opened my mouth to gasp in surprise, only to be met with….tongue. Oh lordy, it was tongue!

Jasper….Jasper was kissing me!

My skin was the second to respond accordingly, sizzling wherever his body touched mine. He had moved his left hand in my hair, pressing me closer just as he bravely deepened the kiss.

I was still in shock.

_Why_ exactly were we kissing? It wasn't like I didn't enjoy it. I did, very, _very_ much, but I had to be dreaming this. Jasper wouldn't kiss _me_.

He pulled away, affectionately kissing the corner of my mouth then my cheek before humming contently, "I've thought about doing that for so long." He whispered huskily.

I wanted to dance and jump for joy but all that came out was a groan before I collapsed against him, burying my nose into his neck and inhaling him in. This couldn't be real. Jasper couldn't really have kissed me.

"I did." He reassured, as if reading my mind or maybe hearing me speak out loud.

"Jasper, this is crazy. What about that Maria girl? And what about your first girlfriend? Did you know you were-" He chuckled, covering my mouth with his hand.

"I told you. Maria isn't my girlfriend." He dropped his hand to my chin, trailing his thumb along my lips. This was so surreal, "But I don't know about liking girls or…guys. I know I like you, Seth. Well, actually," And lordy he was blushing, "I'm in love with you."

My jaw dropped.

He...this wasn't…

There was no proof that Jasper was in love with me. I mean, he was always _friendly_. There was nothing –

And my brain went into overload, targeting ever look, every smile. From him asking for my number the first time we met to prom.

_Prom._

_The corsage._

He had given it to me that night. No straight man would have done that for their best friend, let alone refer to them as a date so openly.

Jeez, no wonder he had been so down after prom. Was that what he was worried about? He didn't call me after because of Edward?

"_Edward huh?"_

He had been jealous? Jasper had been jealous!

"Seth?" I hadn't noticed I standing there with my mouth open for so long, "Please, say something…" He begged uncertainly. He really was full of surprises. Jealousy, uncertainty, love.

A rush of courage shot through me and before I knew it, I was hugging his neck and kissing him so hard, he stumbled back a few steps before righting himself. I could savor the moment now that I had initiated it. His lips were pliable and his scent stronger than ever; that pinewoods smell that reminded me of warm sun rays and an embracive summer air. I took advantage to move my fingers through his hand, combing and feeling the soft texture of his thick waves. He took better care of his hair than I thought. I drew back momentarily at the feeling of scruff against my jaw. Never had I felt that before, but it felt good, like _Jasper_. He leaned in, closing the space between us to peck my lips.

"We should talk." His lips brushed mine as he spoke, "Somewhere where no one will catch us. I don't think it'll be possible to explain just why we're hidden up here like this."

"Okay." I panted, getting that Jasper chuckle I loved so much. He took my hand in his as I lead the way, searching rooms for somewhere we could talk. All of them were surprisingly furnished. We had passed an office and what looked to be an art room before we found double doors leading to the typical library coupled with a fireplace and a long, black leather chaise lounge.

"This should be good." Jasper's breath tickled the back of my neck. I suddenly felt hyper aware. We were alone in the room _after _I had told him I was in love with him and after he said he was supposedly in love with me. That could only mean that being alone…

"Hey," He jolted me from my thoughts, "You okay?"

I nodded slowly, feeling a bit overwhelmed and excited, tingles and all, "Yeah, it's just I thought this would never happen."

I felt his chortle vibrate against my back. He was so close to me, "Imagine how I felt every night after obsessively fantasizing about you." He couldn't have possibly been alluding to…

I kept my back to him, unsure if looking him in the eye would give away to exactly what I was thinking, "Um, so we talk?"

"Yeah, we talk." He answered.

We didn't.

As if with the same train of thought, I was already turning to face him and he was ready, leaning in to kiss me again. This time there was no surprises. It was the two of us meeting in the middle. No waiting for the other, no miscommunication. For the first time in three months it felt like I finally had Jasper back –tenfold.

I thanked the irony of mastering my kissing technique with Edward, because Jasper was a mouthful –no pun intended. He had tricks that were challenging to keep up with. Every nip of my lip, massage of his tongue was a shuddering tingle down to my core. It was exhilarating. We blindly walked to the chaise lounge, still tongue-tied, until finally, I felt my back bounce against the shockingly soft cushion, Jasper following my fall.

Oh lordy.

He was snuggly on top of me, licking under the collar of my button down to kiss at my neck. I squeaked just when his tongue grazed a particularly sensitive spot. I was ready to say something, question if this was too soon. We were supposed to clear up things, talk about whatever it was that was going to make everything okay.

But all thoughts went out the window when I felt it.

_It._

I'm sure I sounded like I was having an asthma attack, but the feeling of Jasper moving his hips against me and groaning into my neck was enough to put me on auto-pilot. My hands pressed and fumbled between us just to have a feel for itself and Jasper's groan gave way to a whimper. I guess I had learned a thing or two from Edward.

Without a second wasted, I was attempting to open his slacks to get to what had been so greedily pressed against me the last 10 seconds. I had no idea where I had the courage to take charge. I had only one flute of champagne. Jasper sure didn't seem to mind. Resting on one elbow, he tangled his fingers in my hair, nuzzling himself into my neck as I attempted to move my squished hand between us. It was awkward and spontaneous, but that was just how we always were before; me as the awkward and Jasper as the spontaneous. The moment-as surreal and straight out of my fantasy as it was –was perfectly us.

Finally, my hand got through and I felt _it._ I didn't know what to do really other than what I remembered what had been done to me. Edward had stroked me and then…licked his hand.

I bit my lip, considering whether or not to do that. What if it looked silly, licking my hand like some little dog? In the moment I had thought it hot when Edward did it, so maybe if I tried, Jasper would think the same thing. I got a growl of agitation when I pulled my hand away from his slacks. But his disappointment was surely gone when he saw me lick my palms to slicken them up.

"Oh _fuck_, Seth," He whined, pressing his hips into my thigh, "That's hot." I felt pride swell in me at the thought of _Jasper_ thinking something I did was hot. I squished my hand between us quickly, not letting my spit dry before I had him wrapped in my fist. He was so warm and filling in my hand and the little wiggling he was doing on me didn't help my own problem much, but I did my best to move my hand in a way I knew worked well for me when I was alone at night. Judging by his groans, he was getting some joy from it. But being Jasper, he wasn't fully satisfied until he could be of help.

He pulled his weight up, suggesting we lay side-by-side. It was a tough task, but we were able to squeeze onto the chaise lounge, hands squish free facing each other. With free hand opportunity, Jasper took advantage, distracting me with a kiss before pressing his digits against the front of my slacks. I squeaked in surprise, but there was no denying that I did want more. My hands hadn't stilled on him, but were at a casual, friendly pace; just enough to keep him happy, but not enough to get him anywhere. And now he was already pushing the band of my briefs down to get to my-

"Jas!" I cried out just at the tickle of the tips of his fingers on me. He was a little more hesitant, watching my face for a reaction as he tested each flicker of a digit. It felt good no matter what, it was Jasper, but I knew that this had to have been his first time.

"Do what you like to do to yourself." I suggested, giving his pouting lower lip a quick caress.

He seemed to understand the instruction so it didn't take long for me to go cross-eyed, "Like this?"

"Y-yes."

"Seth," A puff of his breath warmed my mouth as he spoke, "I thought of touching you all summer, you have no idea. It drove me fucking crazy." Imagining him fantasizing about this was insane, more insane than doing it now. The muscles in my back tensed right as he did that special trick with his thumb. This was turning out to be less of a marathon and more of a sprint situation. I decided to up the ante, changing my pace and grip. He was responding accordingly. Soon it was just gasps and pants and kisses and caresses. We didn't talk about orientation, love, supposed relationships and misunderstandings. Right now, this was all we needed.

It wasn't soon before I felt it, that euphoria nearly ready to spill over.

"Jas-"

"I know, baby."

_Baby._

Not kiddo, not squirt. Baby. I could take that.

With my head tucked in his chest, I panted his name wildly until all my muscles lost tension and I was a wet noodle in his arms, the only thing moving – barely – were my hands. I was already cramping, but a second longer was all Jasper needed and I pulled my face away to watch as his eyes shut tight and his head was thrown back against the cushion. We held each other until our heartbeats were back to normal. When the fog had cleared and both of our eyes lost that drunken glaze, Jasper looked between us and I turned away shyly. It had occurred to me that I had been in a similar situation before, only before it ended in tears and this was ending in a chuckle; Jasper's to be exact.

"What?" I pouted. I knew crying wasn't common after being touched like that, but laughing could have possibly been worse.

"Well," Jasper teased, "I can see where the name _'squirt'_ fits you." Jasper gestured to the mess I made on his suit.

"Shut up." I sulked, slapping his arm and hiding my face away from him.

He continued chuckling, only to groan in frustration, "Rosa is going to kill me!"

I frowned, trying to pinpoint where I heard that name from, "Rosa?"

"I rented this tux from her. Same place I got my tux for for prom." His thumb traced my lip as he spoke. It was an intimate gesture, one I was surprised to get from him so soon. It was just like Jasper to be completely calm about touching another boy like this even if he wasn't sure if he was gay or not.

"I'm sure we can get the uh…stain out."

"We better." He sighed, "I got a good deal for this one."

"Cause you're a charmer?"

"Well," He snickered, "More like Maria knows her personally."

Maria.

Well son of a gun.

_That's_ how my sister invited them. She must have been talking to Maria while I was unaware. I knew for a fact, Jasper had not spoken to her, otherwise he would have said, but it made sense. Maria supplies the cheap wedding dress and bridesmaid's gowns and they get an invitation.

"Leah and Maria are sneaky girls." I grumbled.

With a snort, Jasper agreed, "They sure are. I wouldn't have been invited if it weren't for Maria, so I guess we have to thank her."

I pouted, "I guess."

"She was the one that told me I was in love with you. She knew way before I did."

Well, that's interesting, "I would have thought she would jump you."

"Can't blame the girl for trying," He lamented, "But once she knew I was yours, she backed off…mostly."

We were silent for a moment, lost in our thoughts. There was still a lot to talk about, but now at my sister's wedding. It wouldn't have been a perfect time. I wasn't looking forward to seeing his face when I admitted my brief relationship with Edward.

"You didn't take the corsage." He spoke softly, stirring me from my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"The corsage. I saved it from prom and thought that maybe if you saw…"

I mentally kicked myself, "I didn't know what it meant. I thought you were trying to get out of being jerk."

"I wasn't," He laughed, "I thought that maybe if you remembered prom, you'd relive how perfect the beginning of the night was. I wanted us to go back to that, just me and you."

"It _was_ perfect." I whispered and leaned in lightly pressing my lips to his, before puckering gently. He hummed in appreciation, fingering the jacket of his suit until it opened revealing concealed rose corsage. I fingered the flower, wondering what he felt seeing it left there on the table, "I'm sorry."

"It was my fault." He took my hand in his, pressing a kiss to my knuckles, "I should have just written 'I love you' instead of chickening out. Maybe you would have understood then why I was such an ass."

I smiled, "Maybe."

"I won't do it again, Seth, I promise." He kissed my cheek, pulling back to get a good look at me, "I don't know where to go from here or what to do. I'm as confused as you are about how I feel, but it's real Seth. It took me an entire summer to realize just how real it is. I'm in love with you and I don't care where that leads us, but I'm hoping that through all this you're by my side." He watched me with vulnerable eyes, waiting for an answer. He didn't have to wait long.

"By your side." I agreed, happy to get a rejoiced, deep kiss from him, "I guess we're going to have to clean up and thank Leah and Maria."

Jasper heaved an exasperated sigh, though I could see the dimples shining through that massive smile, "Meddling women."

**\/**

"I love your skin." His nose trailed along my torso, breath tickling my navel, "it fucking _glitters_ in the sun and shines like gold. You need to be naked in the day time more often." I giggled when his lips pressed against my hip bone.

"I'm sure the campus security will love that."

His thumb traced my hips, drawing inward, "Why wouldn't they?"

I scoffed, "We better get ready." I patted at his darkened blonde hair still wet from our shower, "I really don't want Maria walking in on us…again." Jasper groaned but rolled off of me. He hadn't enjoyed it either. Maria was an oogler and I could speak for the both of us when I say it's not fun to have her watch quietly only for us to realize she'd been there for the entire show without our knowledge.

We got dressed silently, sneaking looks at each other when we thought the other wasn't watching. My chest swelled at the expression of lust on Jasper's face. I knew it was going to take a lot longer than 2 weeks to get used to it, but I will willing to see how long –if ever. The past 14 days had been blissful, scary, agonizing and new. Jasper and I talked the night of the reception. I invited him over, and we did much more, of course but afterwards we got a lot off of our chest. I had told him almost everything, leaving out Edward for a better time. And when I did get to it a few days later, it was right after Jasper had officially met both Edward and Jacob for lunch on campus. Jacob had a charm like Jasper and they got along fairly well, but Edward remained stand-offish, scrutinizing Jasper with looks and saying very little. It was unlike him since he was naturally a nurturing and loving person and it certainly was obvious to both Jacob and Jasper. Afterwards, Jasper asked about him. He had his own resentment about our association and when I finally came out about our _very_ brief relationship, Jasper fell silent. He didn't say anything for a long while, until finally he grabbed his stuff and left. I sat there in the living room, stunned for a second, but before I could comprehend what had happened, he was walking back in the house, apologizing. He admitted that he was still jealous and scared that I might have made a mistake ending it with Edward and being with him instead. He was afraid that I'd 'come to my senses'. I told him he was an idiot. And that was all it took to convince him that everything was alright. We talked about Edward and discussed awkwardly of that on physical _relation _when I exploded into tears. I explained that in the end it was him that I had always wanted –even if Edward got me off –and there was no way I could see that changing. He held me for the rest of the night, apologizing until my mom arrived home.

It opened up a lot more conversations. I was finally able to listen to him talk about his first girlfriend and their superficial relationship and –to his discomfort –he learned that Edward wasn't my first short romance, but his boyfriend was as well. Fortunately he took it better than the Edward debacle. When everything was finally out and discussed, we moved on to more important matters –like physical exploration. I still couldn't get over kissing my best friend, but it got easier to accept it each day. In our entire relationship, I found that I was finally the lead in something. I initiated more than he did and often took control. It was a rush for me and a whole new dimension for us. We used our hands and eventually I explored him with my mouth, but that was as far as we got in the 14 days. I knew Jasper was still coming to terms. I had about a 3 year head start of knowing who I was than he did and I didn't mind if I would have to wait that long. All that mattered was that he wanted me and loved me.

And he did. He _loved_ me. He said it everyday, every moment he could spare to, followed by an apology and half a dozen kisses. I had forgiven him since his first 'I'm sorry' but I couldn't complain with all the kisses and affection. I felt he needed to make up for the last 3 months.

When we were finally ready to see daylight after many nights locked away in his dorm, I got to meet Maria _officially_ for the first time. She was actually amusing and nowhere as annoying as she had been the first time we met. After a few hours alone talking to her, I was thankful that she was there to help him work through everything. It made our _reunion_ that much easier. She introduced me to her uncles a week after the wedding, cooing over me and Jasper as if we were children. I thought she was bad…until I met her uncle Eleazar. I was able to catch a sympathetic look from Jasper before I was swept into a tight hug and was forcefully pushed inside to meet the lesser enthusiastic of the hosts. They gushed over the both of us and shared stories of Jasper's occasional visits over the summer. I had shot him a look and he shrugged. Afterwards, he explained that he knew Maria wanted him to see the possibility of her uncles being the two of us in the future.

And crazy as she was, I wanted to kiss and thank her.

"I actually like Eleazar and Santi. They're cool, once you get over Eleazar's squealing." He grumbled.

"Yeah, they seem nice."

His next words had my heart in my throat, "You think….that could be us someday?"

I felt my skin burn at the thought. Me and Jasper in a house together? In love? "I would want that so much." I thought of Eleazar humming and dancing around the perfectly designed house, "You'll make a great Eleazar." I teased.

Jasper winked, "I'm more a Santiago man."

I could agree. Meeting Santiago was like meeting an older Jasper.

When it was time to meet some of my friends, I found that maybe it was fate after all. Jasper had been acting a little strange on our way to the club's floor. I hadn't explained exactly where we were going or who we were meeting, so when we stepped off the floor, I was surprised to see him leading us to the room.

The group was there, Jacob and Edward included when we entered.

"Hey, Juniper is back!" Alec shouted out, before he noticed me, "Hey Seth, long time no see!"

Jasper turned to face me with a puzzled expression, "You come here?"

"A few times a week." I'm sure my expression mirrored his, "And you…?"

"Small world." Jacob snickered.

If I had turned away from him that day, didn't listen as he called for me, we would have had another chance to try, even without the interference of Maria and my sister. But I'm not sure it would have been as easy the second time around.

"Baby, I know you're amazed by me, but you really need to finish putting on your shirt. Maria said she'll be here in 5 and she's _never_ late." Jasper snapped me from my thoughts.

"Okay, okay." I mumbled, attempting to fit my arms through my sleeves only to spectacularly fail. I bratted and grumbled and Jasper watched amused and fully dressed, "Shut up." I pouted.

"Aww, is your brain putty?" He teased. It was his fault. He woke me up from a great dream with his….hands. And he didn't stop until I made a mess. This was the third time this week we had to wash his sheets and I was running out of quarters. And to make matters worse, he did _stuff_ to me in the shower –fun, sexy _stuff_, but _stuff_ nonetheless.

I squeaked at the sound of Jasper's growl, "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"That…thing." He growled again and already I felt myself reacting. He chuckled, pulling me in his arms.

"Seth," Oh no, we was using the bedroom voice, "I think I'm catching up in the bed arena, don't you think?" This morning had been the first time he touched me without asking. Maybe he was catching up…a little.

"Maybe." I didn't want to give him the advantage though I knew it was coming sooner or later. Jasper was getting more relaxed about touching and often hinted at other things we could do…like have _sex._ He growled again, burying his nose into my neck.

"I want to see more of your skin." He pawed at my shirt, before lifting it from the hem.

"If you haven't noticed, I _just_ accomplished getting dressed." I scolded, though made no efforts to stop him when his fingers trailed up my chest, pinching my right nipple, "Jas." My leg gave out, but he was quick, holding my weight up to keep us from falling over. I tried in my weakened state to leave the room, but he wasn't having it, pressing wet kisses along my neck, before his tongue followed the trail. An odd gurgling sound left my throat. It was embarrassing the noises I made in front of him.

"Um, I'm guessing one of you is my new roommate." I jumped at the voice, slapping Jasper's hand from under my shirt. He pulled away calmly, staring at our surprise visitor standing in the doorway. He was tall, around Jasper's height with broad shoulders and blonde hair, but unlike Jasper's, it was straight, shoulder length and tied back. He wore a short sleeved tee that revealed some festive tattoos on his right arm. His appearance was on the tough side, but the expression he wore was amusement.

Oh lordy, he saw me and Jasper!

"Oh no!" I gasped, hiding my face into Jasper's shirt.

I heard a snort, but wasn't sure who it was from, "Jasper Whitlock." Jasper introduced himself as if his new dorm mate didn't catch him fondling me.

"That hand is sanitary, right" The other joked. Jasper must have been doing the friendly thing, offering a handshake.

"Don't worry. We showered." Even though I couldn't see Jasper's eyes, I knew they were sparkling with deviance.

The other guy laughed just I pulled away just in time to see them shake hands, "I'm Garrett Walden." He said with ease, "And I can say I'll certainly never forget this welcome."

"God!" I groaned, hiding my face again.

"This is Seth." Jasper spoke for me, "When he gets over being mortified, he'll apologize for you catching us like this."

"No problem." If I had been looking at Garrett, I'm sure I would have caught a shrug, "I had the misfortune of catching my little brother with his boyfriend –very traumatizing. So, where's my room?" He chatted casually.

"Right on the other side of the bathroom." Jasper answered.

"Thanks," It was as if he hadn't caught two men together, "I'll drop my things off there." His fading footsteps told me he had left the room.

"God," I groaned again, "We are _so_ lucky he didn't have a problem with that."

"With what?"

"Us…being together." I was beyond embarrassed, but if Garrett would have been angry or disgusted, that would have been really bad, "He has a gay brother and doesn't mind us together. We got lucky there." I sighed.

"It wasn't necessarily luck." Jasper said conspiringly. When I gave him a look, he elaborated, "After your sister's wedding I put a request in that my fall roommate be gay-friendly. I guess the only luck there was that the request wasn't too last minute."

"Gay-friendly?" I didn't even know you could put in requests, "You can do that?"

He shrugged, "I don't see why not. If you can pick whether or not you want a political science major or a smoker, why not someone gay-friendly?"

I slapped his arm, "Well that's all dandy, but this still could have been avoided if you _remembered_ that today was the official move-in for dorm students."

As usual, Jasper kept his cool, smiling that deep dimpled smile. I was _swooning_ again, "What can I say? I lose track of time with you." He leaned in for a kiss, but I dodged it.

"Cheesy!"

He went in for an attack, but the sound of the dorm door opening and the call of Maria had us both freezing, "Sweeties, we need to be at the restaurant in 10 or Leah and Sue or going to have our hides!"

I rolled my eyes, "Since when did she start referring to my mother as 'Sue'."

"Since she offered those discounts on the gowns." Jasper snickered quietly. I smiled, knowing that he was right. Maria had won Leah and my mom over before Jasper and I even made up.

I groaned, adjusting my shirt, "She's right. We need to get ready." It was the first time I'd be seeing my sister since the wedding. She had just arrived back from her honeymoon in Italy and needed a group of people to tell all the sordid details to. Also, this would be the first time she and my mother would see me and Jasper as a couple. It was going to be a _very _interesting day.

"Boys, I hope you are fully dressed, because I'm coming-Oh hello there!" Jasper and I exchanged glances, knowing just what Maria had spotted.

"Hello." Garret's deep voice sounded just as pleasantly surprised, "I can only guess you are looking for my roommate and his boyfriend. They are fully dressed and ready to go." I sighed a breath of relief. Garrett was proving to be a blessing.

"I suppose so." Jasper snickered at the sound of Maria's more sultry tone, "and who might you be?"

"Garrett Walden."

"I'm Maria. You'll see me around…a lot."

"Oh lordy." I groaned.

"Looks like poor Garrett is going to have his hands full." Jasper laughed. We listened in as they exchanged conversation while we were forgotten.

"Mom's going to kill us when we arrive. We're already running late."

"We can say its Maria's fault."

I watched him, cool and collected, back to his usual _rockstar_ self, "You're not even a little bit nervous that I'll be re-introducing you as my boyfriend, are you?"

Jasper shook his head, looking unfazed, "Not at all."

"How can that be possible?"

He gave me a sly smirk, "Because I was you mother's first choice as your prom date." Well, there was that.

I shook my head, bewildered by the fact that everyone seemed to know what was going on between us _but_ us, "Meddling women."

He laughed, pressing his lips against my temple, "Indeed."

_**\/  
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_**AN: Thanks for waiting and reading, guys! It's not completely done. I'm pretty eager to hear thoughts since I had the muse to write all this out, but wasn't sure if I was doing Seth's POV justice, even with 15,000 words. I'll let the readers tell me if that is so.**_

_**Now I must head off to finish my other mini-chaptered series. Until next time!**  
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